Gabby Goodwin's Train Wrecked Love Life

Chapter 4

What the F*#@% Just Happened...

Have you ever just stopped and looked at yourself in the mirror and thought... who the hell is that? Well, that were I found myself a couple weeks before the new school year started. After my traumatic day with Stacy and my mom, and both bitches trying to set me up, I hid myself away from Ex's, old flames, crushes, redheaded dick suckers, and nemesis bitches that hated my ass, for the rest of the summer.

But now that my book was finally finished, I now found myself looking into the mirror in complete shock. My eyes were red from starring into the computer for hours on end, my face pale from living like a hobbit for weeks, my eyebrows were so over grown they've pretty much gone uni-brow on my ass, and my arm pit hair was so long, I could braid it... okay, I'm over exaggerating, well, just a little bit.

My hands went to my hair and it felt like hay and looked like it was clumped together on top of my head. Then I stopped and wondered... "When was the last time I took a shower?" I asked myself then sighed. "Okay, that's it's time for you to pick yourself back up and move on."

I would be the first to admit that my luck with men, well it sucks. But maybe that was because I was leaving everything up to fate, and obliviously fate had no fucking clue what he was doing. So if I can't seem to find a guy who inst a complete asshat, maybe something that's smart and scientific can roll me out a winner... like dating sights. That's right, Gabby's going technical in her love life. Boom bitches!

So with a click, I googled on line dating sites, and hundreds of sights popped up. I started to scroll through all of them and the first one I clicked on was corny as hell. The next one, well, I clicked on it, to then clicked out of it, then back again making sure it wasn't a porn site. It was terrible, the background was hot freaking pink with flashing neon words... nope not a porn site, but damn, it was cheesy as hell.

After a couple hit and misses, I found this posh site for smart people. It's catch phrase was, Smart People looking for Smart people. Okay, that was the worst catch phrase EVER, and I could have shredded it in under thirty seconds flat. But on the other hand, the men looked nice, the sight had some class to it, and I know I'm not a genus or anything, but if sarcasm was a science... I'd have a freakin' PhD.

So with a shrug I filled out the form, uploaded up my last years school photo to my profile, and rolled the dice. "Come on computer cupid, momma looking for someone hot... and STD free." I whispered as I hit enter.

I sat back in the chair wondering if I did the right thing. I mean, those dating sites kind of freaked me out. Especially when I hit that I didn't want to meat anyone from my area. I know to some that doesn't seem like a big deal but, I've lived in the same town my whole life. I know almost everyone in town, and they all know me. It's so bad that as a kid, you couldn't get away with shit, because an adult would see you, and then tattle to your parents on you.

Now I was stepping out of my comfort zone and taking the bull by the horns to try something new. I know what you might be thinking, Gabby, you don't need a man to make you happy! Yeah, I read all those books too, and to me, their bull shit. I don't know about you, but a vibrator can only do so much. I want a man between my legs, not a piece of plastic... I'm just saying.

But there's more to it than that, all sarcasm aside. Call me old fashioned, but I want a man, a really man, one that will love me, and make me feel safe when he's around. One who'll go to the movies with me, go dancing, a man who will want to share a life with me. I know that sounds sappy, but I'm big enough to own that shit.

I bit my lip as I got into my emails and found my new list of kids, and then looked at the date... "I've got to get my shit together." I sighed getting up from my chair, and then taking in my family room. There were dishes, bags of chips, diet soda cans, clothing, strewn all over the place.