More Than Twice| Open Wound #1✔

*Twenty one*

"Why would I say no, knowing you won't hear me. Why would I act brave, knowing you won't fear me, I am already consumed, a trapped animal by your chains of love"-Jasmine

**tip..listen to 'trauma' by NF.

Chapter twenty one. Admission.

To this point forward I was numb. I was unable to utter any word nor sentence and all I heard was the constant tap of someone's feet or nurses that passed by other than that, everything was still. I was a mess but I didn't care. I was completely void and the only time I even gave a reaction was when a doctor passed by.

I was still dressed in the same attire from yesterday and I was still in the same place I was hours ago and I had not moved since then. All stars were long gone and since I didn't complete the last round I was never judged but I could care less. The worst thing about the situation was when the condition is critical and you have no clue if they will live or die.

I was left in the dark. We all were. But the difference was you noticed it on me. The worst thing they could do was to leave me alone with my thoughts because in times like these, I am my worst enemy but that was exactly what they did.

How could I have not known? How could I do this to her...

I sat on the cold hard floor of the hospital with my knees pulled up to my chest. Make up was smudged on my face and hair disheveled. I could care less about my appearance. Everything hurts, both emotionally and physically. I was dead inside.

Movements around me brought me back to reality and my eyes snapped up towards the sympathetical gaze of the doctor dressed in a white coat and an annoying green.

He seemed stressed with dark circles under his eyes but I could care less. I was up in seconds and stood in front of him.

"Is she okay?!" I questioned desperately, completely frantic but then someone’s hand was placed on my shoulder. The familiar warmth calmed me down slightly but it didn't stop me.

"She's stable and resting now. She's allowed visitors but relatives only." He stated in empathy and I side stepped him.

"Hannah wait!" His voice called but I kept on moving. His steps radiated through the concrete floor and urged me to walk faster. Once he caught up to me he grabbed my forearm and I pivot on my heels.

"What?! I am her family! Her aunts out of town her parents are in England and right now I'm the only one she has!" I screamed and pulled out of his grip and he surprisingly let go.

"Hannah she has all of us, we're all here for her. We all care for her." He emphasized and I took deep breaths. What he said did not change my mind and I still walked further down the hall and finally reached her room.

Jake entered behind me and once I saw her I couldn't hold it in anymore. Before Jake could catch me, I had already fell to the ground and sobbed hysterically while I begged for her to wake up.

I wish she told me. I should have noticed she wasn't okay.

For months she has had a tumour the size of a fucking tennis ball next to her pancreas and I had no clue.

Tubes surrounded her and her once olive skin was so pale I barely recognised her. Her lips were blue and she was almost lifeless. I would be convinced that she was already gone if it wasn't for the machine next to her.