Angel Of Mine (castiel x reader)

Loss

Day 1

Heartbroken, that's all Castiel felt in that moment. He watched as the flames consumed your body, Sam and Dean stood by him. All three of them silent, Castiel's eyes where red and puffy. Same with the two brothers, Dean was full of pure rage and sadness. Sam and Cas where both devastated, both brothers then walked away from the fire. But Cas stayed a while, he didn't want to pull his eyes away from the flames.

He felt horrible he felt as if he had failed to protect you, he knew he had failed. And he blamed no one but himself.

Day 16

Castiel sat in a diner by himself, a cup of coffee in front of him. A picture of you and him was held in his hand, he took a sip of his coffee and sighed. He felt so broken and emotionally drained, the waitress that had been eyeing him since he arrived came over.

"Can I get ya anything else?" She asked.

The angel looked up "A cherry pie please." He said softly.

She nodded leaving, he looked back at the picture. He smiled softly at the happy smile that you had on your face, he brushed his thumb over the picture.

A second later the girl came back setting the plate down "Here ya are dear, how about we get a bite after my shift. Sound good?" She asked, clearly hopeful.

He looked up at her with sad blue eyes and shook his head, "I'd rather not." He said. Looking back down at the picture of you.

"And why is that? Got a girl back home? I mean she doesn't have to know." She said.

The angel sighed "I don't have a girl at home, not anymore." He answered, his voice sad and broken.

"Ah so your goin through a breakup, I can make you forget about her." She said, leaning forward trying to catch his attention.

"It's not a so called breakup, she died. 16 days ago, murdered." He muttered the last part.

This caused the girl to stand up fully in shock "O-oh, I am so sorry sir. I'll-I'll leave you be." She said, before quickly dashed away.

He sighed and pulled out a twenty and put it on the table before leaving the diner, he had had a few women hit on him a few times. But each time they did, he would refuse. He was still madly in love with you, and even if you where gone he wouldn't love another.

Day 100

100 days without you, 100 days without your smile. Your beautiful smile, your sarcasm. 100 days of being full of emptiness, and self blame. Castiel had isolated himself from his brothers, taking some time to himself. But that was until Lucifer, somehow managed to escape from the cage. And started causing havoc as usual, meaning Cas had to go back and help his family.

The boys hadn't heard from Crowley since you died, and the same went for Rowena. When Castiel arrived at the bunker, he was bombarded with questions. Some which he ignored, and others he answered. Despite being back at the bunker, he still felt empty and alone. He hadn't stepped foot into you room, much less gone even near it. He couldn't stand to be near it, most of the time he spent in the library.

Both brothers noticed how Cas was, how distant and distracted he seemed. And they understood the feeling, both brothers where still healing from your passing. The bunker felt so empty without you there, your mere presence. Seemed to liven up the bunker, even when you didn't speak to them.