Sarcasm-Five Hargreeves x Reader (The Umbrella Academy)

Chapter 9

Parking outside the lines, Five shoved Lance out the car, hiding the knife he was pointing at the man under his sleeve while he rushed towards the prosthetics building.

However, a new surprise laid for him as he saw smoking drifting from the building and into the sky as a bright orange was seen from the inside of the company.

It was on fire.

Five immediately let go of Lance as he ran around the back and to the front entrance, staring in terror at the smoke that filed out the front doors and windows, the cracking of breaking glass filling his ears as he tried to get a closer look.

Suddenly, the entrance exploded, deafening Five's ears for a split second before he was knocked back by the force.

However, before he could reach the ground, a hand grabbed onto his blazer and pulled him up so he stood on his feet, turning around to see Y/N with furrowed brows.

"You idiot! What were you thinking getting so close to the building? You know better than that, Five," she scolded, pushing him off.

"That doesn't matter....everything, it's all gone."

~~~

"If we cant get anything off the lab, we might as well come here. It never failed to meet my needs," Y/N said, standing in the lobby of Argyle Public Library with a sorrowful Five.

He hadn't talked since the fire at the prosthetics company, and as much as Y/N liked watching his pain, she knew they needed to find a new lead in the apocalypse as soon as they could. That meant, she'd have to cheer him up enough for Five to get his head back in the game.

Five nodded as he clutched Delores's bag in one hand and clutched a book in the other, Vanya's autobiography that he had used to fill calculations of how he got back from the apocalypse.

Y/N didn't quite know what Five need from the library for help. It wasn't like there was a book called, "How to Stop the Entire World From Ending in a Nuclear Disaster."

They didn't even know if the end of the world went up in an explosion or not.

Sighing, Y/N watched as Five trudged up the stairs of the library and went off to find whatever whatnot he needed to.

~~~

"You're drunk, Five."

"What makes you think that," Five slurred, hugging Delores against his chest as he watched his feet step in front of the other while he walked clumsily.

Y/N rolled her eyes as she snatched the bottle from Five's hand and threw it into the recycling bin, only for Five to pull out another one from Delores's bag.

"Stop drinking, we're going to get kicked out," Y/N whisper-yelled, making a move for the second bottle.

Five only lifted his arm up, swerving to his left as he stumbled slightly in dizziness

"See? Your body can't handle the alcohol, you're thirteen," Y/N frowned, crossing her arms.

"Agh, you were always a buzzkill. Some things just never change, huh," Five laughed, taking a swing before gasping obnoxiously.

Y/N cringed as the nasty smell of the alcohol hit her nose and she sighed as she sat down, cracking her fingers.

This was going to take a while.

~~~

Well, Y/N was right.

An hour had passed and Five was practically half-dead, sitting beside Y/N as he layer his head on the wall beside him, taking Delores under his arm as he blinked every few minutes.

A few people had already passed by, looking at Five's drunk state weirdly, but Y/N had already made every other lame excuse as to why he was like that.

"Oh, we're just practicing for a school play, he's good at acting, right?"

"No reason to worry, my friend here is just tired after a while of studying."

"What guy? I don't know who you're talking about."

Another pair of footsteps approached and Y/N sighed as she turned in their direction.

"Hey, I told you-" Y/N looked for another excuse, before she looked up to see Diego and Luther.

"Where were you," Diego asked.

"It's been a long day," Y/N ignored his question.

"Is he, um..." Luther started.

"He is, and I feel like jumping over this railing. We've been here for a few hours," Y/N said, rubbing her temples.

The bottle rolled out of Five's hand, hitting Diego's foot.

"Alright. We're going to my place, the Academy isn't safe," Diego said.

"Why, what happened?"

"It was attacked by these lunatics in creepy masks," Diego told her.

Y/N tried and succeed in hiding her recognition.

~~~

The four of them walked down an alleyway as Diego directed them to his place.

Luther was still carrying Five in his arms and Y/N was looking around, watching as she placed one foot in front of the other.

"So, What were you doing in the library anyway," Diego asked, breaking the silence between the siblings.

"What's a library for? Research," Y/N answered.

"What was it on," Luther questioned.

"Five wanted to find some books on world catastrophes. He's a weird person."

At the mention of his name, Five belched loudly, making all three of them scrunch up their noses in disgust at the nasty smell.

"If you vomit on me..." Luther muttered, bring his head away from Five.

"You know what's funny," Five asked randomly. "Aah! I'm going through puberty. Huh. Twice. And I...I drank that whole bottle, didn't I," he asked.

"Yep."

Five thought for a moment before a satisfied smile spread on his face and he sighed. "Getting drunk. Ah! That's what you do when the work you love goes bye-bye! What are you guys talkin' about?"

Luther sighed. "Two masked intruders attacked the house last night. They came looking for you. Care to explain?"

"Let's see...Hazel and Cha-cha," Five said, bring a hand up to his chin as he recalled the names of the hit men.

"Who," Diego asked.

"You know I hate like code-names," Luther said.

"Ah, the best of the best. Except me, of course," Five chuckled slightly.

"The best of what?"

"Ya know, Delores always said she hated when I drink," Five got off topic. "She said it made me surly-"

"I need you to focus," Diego snapped, eyeing the mannequin in Five's arms expectantly before he took a step forward. "What do this Hazel and Cha-cha want?"

Five smiled weirdly at Diego, seeing to have forgotten the question Diego had asked the moment it came out of his mouth.

"We just want to protect you two," Diego explained. "Y/N, do you know?"

The girl shook her head.

"Protect me? I don't need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people I've killed?"

"No," Diego answered plainly.

"I'm the four frickin' horseman," Five yelled.

Five took a deep breath as he once again relaxed, closing his eyes. "The apocalypse is coming-"

The boy was interrupted as his neck surged and he threw up over Luther's shoulder, earning a harsh glare from the ape man.

~~~