Sarcasm-Five Hargreeves x Reader (The Umbrella Academy)

Chapter 40

"Alright, so when dad gets here, I think I'll just do the talking. Okay," Five said, taking a seat.

"Got a few questions for him myself," grunted Diego, sitting by Five's other side.

"Hey, we don't want to scare him off, alright? He might be able to help us stop doomsday, get us home," Five argued as everyone else walked down the stairs and into the otherwise empty diner.

"No, Five. We need to figure out why he's planning to kill the president," Diego snapped.

"This is matter of life and death, you imbecile!"

"But, I don't think you talking for many wonders the last time you saw him," Y/N said, leaning over the table to look at Five.

Five threw her a glare, finally figuring out he was alone this time as Y/N sat back down in her seat.

"Okay, yeah, maybe we should take turns talking, yeah," Vanya's asked reasonably.

She bent down a picked picked up some thing from the floor and held it up. "Here, whoever has got this conch shell gets to talk."

"Vanya, we don't have time for a debate, okay," Five said.

"Maybe I should lead. We all know I'm a better public speaker than the rest of you," Allison said as she took the she'll from Vanya's hands.

Y/N rolled her eyes. "This isn't about-"

"Okay. Daddy's girl," Diego laughed lowly, getting irritated.

"Oh, jealous, Number Two?"

"Hey, no more numbers. No more bullshit, we're team zero. We're all team zero," Diego said walking up to Allison.

"Oh, Diego," Y/N said. "You don't have the conch. Here, let me give it to you."

She got up and snatched it from Allison's hands before throwing it into the wall.

"Y/N," Diego groaned. "It wasn't that hard playing catch with knives when we were 10. Swift throw, swift catch. And now, you broke the shell-"

"Nobody cares about that damn shell," each word having its own meaning as Y/N's face contorted slowly and slowly to resemble an old prune.

"Y/N..."

"What?"

"He's-"

The door suddenly opened and hit the wall harshly as the one and only Reginald Hargreeves came out, stepping over the broken pieces of the shell. He held a book in his hand, placing it down onto the table sternly as he eyes everyone.

"Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your summer into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions, called me..."

There was a screeching of chairs and a drunk Klaus with a bottle of liquor sat next to Reginald.

"Hey pops, how you doing?"

Y/N scooter her chair slightly away from the two.

"...dad," Reginald questioned, looking at a Klaus in disgust.