Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━
summary: after feeling down and really insecure all the while spencer is gone, what you crave most is cuddles from your lover
tw: past eating disorder (not mentioned but signs are shown) _____________________________________ you woke up this morning with good intentions - for a couple minutes - but then your insecurities basically whacked you in the face, and now... you know what you have to do.
you have a lot of insecurities, they range from your thighs to your stomach to your stretch mark then your scars, basically everything.
you've had them for years, and at one stage you did lose weight and you were happy, but then people started saying you need to gain weight.
now you're average weight but past comments from people keep coming back. it's like you can't win. if you're a bit big people judge you, if you're too skinny people judge you.
spencer always calls you beautiful and he lists the things he loves about you, but when he's gone, you can't help feeling sad and hate yourself.
he was currently out on a case and you didn't know when he'd be back.
so you skipped breakfast, got your yoga mat out and pulled up some intense workouts and began...
you were at this for a couple hours before you decided you needed a break.
you sat down on the couch watching tv for an hour before you got back to the workouts, skipping lunch.
_ it was now 5pm and you've been working out for 3 and a half hours with small breaks between, and you haven't eaten.
you were now starting to feel a bit light headed and dizzy, but you pushed it aside.
you were sweaty and you smelt so you got some clothes (spencer's clothes of course) and hopped in the shower, letting the hot water run down you body.
you took a moment after getting out the shower to observe yourself in the mirror, pointing and squishing your stomach together, sucking in.
'why did he pick me?' you ask yourself.
out of all the girls he could have dated, he chose you. you.
you got dressed and got in bed, looking at pictures of spencer and you, how happy you both look. god how you wish he was here right now to cuddle you, play with your hair, tell you how much he loves you...
and just as if you have powers, you hear the door open and a couple minutes later spencer walks in the door.
you jump out of bed, going to rush to spencer before dizziness takes over and you start to fall - not before being caught in a pair of strong arms.
"woah woah, i got you, i got you baby" he says as he picks you up and carries you over to the bed, placing you down before quickly rushing to get water and a granola bar, rushing back to the bedroom.
you're still conscious but your vision is blurry and you're extremely light headed.
"here drink this and have a few bites of this, alright" he tells you.
you take a couple sips of the water before having small bites and chewing slowly out of the granola bar.
"what happened?" he asks you.
"i-i don't know, i was fine" you defend yourself, suddenly realising why you nearly fainted.
you put so much pressure on yourself today with the workouts and you haven't even eaten and you've barely had anything to drink.
"babe don't lie to me" he says softly, not wanting to make you feel bad or scared to tell him.
"i-it happened again..." you say softly, looking down.
this happened a few months ago when you did something similar to this. he knows how bad things like this can get.
he nods softly before helping you stand up and leading you into the bathroom.
he places you in front of the mirror, standing behind you. he pulls up your shirt and instantly you cringe at the sight.
he lowers himself down in front of you kissing your stomach gently.
"you are so gorgeous. inside and out. i love everything about you. i love your stomach, i love your thighs, i love your stretch marks, i love your scars. these things about your body that you hate, they show you what you've gone through. they show who you are. they show what you've become. a gorgeous, loving, beautiful girl. you. are. perfect" he tells you as he stands up and wipes away some of your falling tears with his thumb.
"i love you" you whisper out weakly, tears still falling.
he places a kiss on your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, your chin, your upper lip, your lower lip before finally kissing you on the lips.
"i love you more. everything about you" he tells you.
spencer suggests ordering some chinese so you both can eat to which you agree.
"the foods gonna be a while, do you wanna have a shower while we wait?" he asks as he hugs you.
"i already had one" you tell him.
"have another one" he says to which you agree.
in the shower he repeats how much he loves you and he kisses you over and over again, showing his true love.
once the food gets here you both eat in the bedroom with the tv going while he plays with your hair.
_
you guys watch a bit of tv before you start to feel sleepy, laying down on spencer's chest.
the last thing you hear before you doze off - exhaustion from the day catching up - is,
"i love you, and all your imperfections" _____________________________________ word count - 943
