Jahanara's world is filled with monstrous silhouettes, looming in the dark around her, ready to harm her. The coldness of her eyes could slit people's throats. Happiness was nowhere to be found while sadness became her companion. Too many questions...
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Death is the last stage before we enter real life for us Muslim.
It's truly the end of the tale.
The Ahmed Mansion today was mourning for the deceased whose eyes spread the warmth. Her laughter were melodies echoing around. Her presence itself created a mist of positivity, love and kindness.
The living hall was filled with middle-aged ladies with their daughters or daughter in laws sitting in a circle on the white sheet reciting the Holy Book or doing tasbeeh.
The cries had died down a while ago as Jahanara's arm was secured around Someone's shoulder, whose head rested against her shoulder. Her eyes subsisted bloodshot and dry tears had worn out her fragile body. It's been more than 24 hours and not getting a wink of sleep had started to show its effect on Jahanara while she was staring in space.
Those Judgemental eyes weren't gone unnoticed by the ladies. Until someone dared to ask such a ridiculous question without realizing the situation.
"Sakeena Baji(elder sister) shehraz is so young and has a child. He should get married," The old lady's voice reached Jahan's ears. She glared at the women while raising an eyebrow.
'Is she in her sense?' Jahanara thought, shaking her head in doubt.
"Keep that nonsense with you and if you continue," Jahanara gritted, signalling towards the open entrance. "Your welcome to leave," she wanted to curse and tell the guards to throw her out but bit her tongue refraining herself. The gasps rolled out while that lady huffed and widened her eyes about to fire back before a loud pitch of a certain someone crying out.
Yusra finally came down with the crying baby who screamed to the point her ears might bleed. Not knowing what to do and getting irritated every passing second she looked up and heaved in relief seeing Jahanara sprinting towards her.
"Please do something I can't take anymore," Yusra mumbled, almost wanting to cry in joy when Jahanara held the baby and instead Yusra sat beside Sakeena.
She was wrapped in a soft fabric preventing it from irritating its skin but the moment Jahanara clutched the baby against her heart did she realize that this was her destiny to be born without a mother ever seeing or knowing her.
She turned, swirling her back and forth. It was mystic that she would keep quiet the moment Jahanara's arms were around her because she had the privilege to carry it first.
"Meri Jaan(my life)" she whispered, placing a light peck on her head which was covered with the cloth. Jahanara knew better that from now on she had to take care of her princess while being a support pillar to the mother and her unstable father.
If there was anything that broke Jahanara heart it was for Shehraz Ahmad.
"It's time" The announcement made everyone turn towards the source. But Jahanara had no strength to turn instead she walked away.
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Shehraz did not know what to do.
He couldn't wrap up around his head that his only beloved has left him and his child in utter misery. They all walked with heavy steps and shattered hearts lending their shoulders for carrying the coffin, not just anyone.
His Ruqia's.
They all recited la ilaha illallah Muhammadur rasulullah to remind the deceased of the Kalma. Their whiteware drenched under the mercy of the heavy rainfall. The stomps of feet splashed against the dirty puddle of water.
His tears mixed with the water as the gateway of the graveyard awaited them to fulfil her last rites. His heart went numb while his limbs trembled at the whole scene unfolding right through his eyes.
All went in a blur as he threw the leftover mud over the grave and now his hands were raised in an attempt to pray for her. He barely could form any words at all.
Danish felt helpless and never did he see the most bright human being so dead. The case here was not just anyone. He gave a longing look before patting his hand on his back in comfort not finding any words that could comfort him.
"Ya Allah ease his pain" Danish sent a silent prayer walkaway giving him the space and left worried about the ladies at home.
"You left me too soon Ru," His voice sounded so foreign to himself. The one never in a million years he thought would happen. All the possible reasons why this had occurred failed to ease his aching heart.
None were making any sense to him.
She was fine, he made sure with checkups and all but then, in conclusion, it was destiny and no one can ever stop the happening.
His legs finally gave up resting on the earth staring at the grave while the men were kind enough to leave the mourning husband in his state.
"How will I live without you?" He questioned to no one. The memories of them rushed like the speed of lightning. He won't be able to ever see her. Her honey brown twinkling eyes, her voice, her laughter, her concerns. It was like Shehraz was living a beautiful dream until life slapped him with reality.
They were supposed to throw a celebration for their baby arrival. Return to London and shift back here for his mother. Grow old and see their kids running around getting them married and so on.
The thought of never seeing her stabbed his already broken heart, his hand covering his mouth as his chest trembled while a sob broke out.
No, he couldn't live without her smile, kindness and love.
He has to and there is nothing no one can do about it.
But he knew that today not only did Ruqia Ahmed die but a part of him also did.
Those who are left behind to mourn are the ones to suffer the most.
