Desire

Page 55

55

I sat in the cafe for a while, wondering what all of this meant. How did I get in the middle of all of this?

"Are you okay, ma'am?" Asked a waitress.

"Yes ma'am." I'm sorry.

I got up and walked out. I was overwhelmed with fear, worry and a wide range of other emotions that made my head feel as if I was carrying an elephant.

I wanted to help take Frank down but the only way to do that was to be close to him. I was scared of how things could end.

This was going to be hard, scary and take from me something that I don't think I have in me right now.

I started to think "what if this is karma for what I've done in my marriage?" I vowed to love him forever, and here I was, had fallen out of love with him when he needed me the most. I didn't want to be the guy but I was.

I decided to try calling him and to my surprise, he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey. How are you?"

"What do you want, Dee?"

"I called to check on you. I miss you."

"I'm alive."

"Are you busy?"

"What do you need?"

"I want you to come home."

"Nah. I gotta go."

"Keith?"

He had hung up. I drove home paranoid, thinking that maybe someone was following me. I reached a red light and realized that I didn't want to go home, I called Amanda.

"Hey, Dee" she said.

"Hey girl. You busy?"

"No, you okay?"

"Yeah. Hey, is it okay if I come over?"

"Yeah, sure Dee. Come on."

"Be there in like 15."

She told me that the door would be unlocked and she'd be in the shower.

I pulled up to her house and let myself in. She was in the shower, so I waited downstairs. She came down, wearing a pink bathrobe, “Hey, Dee” she said while hugging me.

“Hey girl. Please tell me you have something to ease my mind. She walked over to her table and opened a cigar box and presented a blunt. I hadn’t smoked in years but to hell with it. She lit it up and I hit it. I coughed like a hundred times but started to feel high quickly.

“Girl, my mouth is dry.” I said

“Let me get us a drink.” She came back into the living room carrying an unopened bottle of Hennessy and two glasses.

“Let’s pour up.” She said,

We took a few drinks and Amanda has always been a lightweight, she said that she had so much to tell me. She went on to say that she was seeing a doctor and that’s how she found out about Keith. I asked what happened and she said “Girl, it was better dick out there”.

“Girl, I cheated on Keith.” I admitted.

“Dee, with who?”

“Eh’, just a guy that I’ve known for a while. Nothing major, we don’t even speak anymore”

I was to embarrassed to admit to two different men

“Well girl, I had the best sex of my life while you were in Miami and I tried to call and tell you.”

“The best?”

“Girl, THE BEST!”

“Spill all the tea.” I demanded

“Well, he’s much older, handsome and successful. Dee, you can’t tell anyone.”

“I promise”

“Girl, Mr. Frank. Our boss” she squealed.