delicate - jaylor fanfic - on hold because of the breakup

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** Monday April 10th, 2017 - 1week and one day old **

- Taylors Pov -

"Holly shit this stinks" Joe groans as he is changing Estelle's diaper. We have one of those mats that we lay on our bed to change her and get her ready in the morning. We have learned during the first week that its best to just do everything in our room and not run back and forth to her nursery.

"Taylor, there is poop everywhere. All up her back" Joe sounds horrified so I walk out of the bathroom where I'm getting ready for the day. We are leaving the house for the first time in a week today, so I want to look like I at least get some sleep, which isn't actually true.

He is right, there is poop everywhere. "Her first blowout. How convenient when we have to leave the house in an hour" I rub my temple thinking about what to do with this. We could just wipe her down, but if I were her, I wouldn't want to have any trace of poop on me for the day. "Let's just quickly give her a bath. Not a full one but to get her clean."

Bath time is a nightmare in our house, but right now she needs it badly. Why did she have to prove her pooping skills today? Couldn't she have waited until tomorrow at least? We are going on her first well-baby-visit, and I don't want to show up and look like the train wreck I feel like.

One would think this whole parenting thing was magical like you watch in movies or see videos about on the internet. But its puffy eyes, no sleep, poop, pee and spit up everywhere. She loves to show off her bodily functions that's for sure. I made the mistake yesterday to not have a diaper ready right after I changed her, so she gave me a present of a stream of pee. Thank god I put a towel down on top of the changing mat, so it didn't roll off the mat and get on our bed. But it's probably only a matter of time before we have all sorts of stains on our mattress too. It was horrifying for the first two days, but now there are gross stuff everywhere and I don't care anymore.

My own body produces its own grossness too. My boobs leak like fountains, my vagina too and it's just a mess. Not to mention that the postpartum hormones feel just like the pregnancy hormones. I'm crying all the time, especially if she cries. She starts crying, I start crying and then Joe stands there horrified while he tries to soothe the both of us.

Together we give her a quick screaming bath because she loves to show of her strong lungs while bathing. Hopefully she will calm down during bath time eventually, because this usually brings me on the verge of tears too. I'm just exhausted, that's the bottom line of the story.

We dress her in a zip up onesie that kind of look like a two piece but is actually one. The first two days we tried to put actual outfits on her, but these things are a genius invention and now we have a fuck tonn of them. I went online and ordered more than the two we already had because the whole thing is the best thing ever. We can zip up from the bottom to change her diaper and then close it again. No need to take off her clothes form the top down and deal with a baby crying because she is cold. Not to mention we learned that if she gets cold during the night diaper change its inevitable, she won't go easily back to sleep. The milk coma doesn't work if she wakes too much after the diaper change and then we are inn for a longer night.

I get her in her car seat and give her a pacifier. I know some parents swears off those things because some babies get nipple confusion or whatever, but for Estelle it doesn't seem to be a problem so far. And to babies its apparently soothing to suck, so since being attached to my boob all the time isn't practical this is a good solution.

Joe carries her car seat into the car, and we are on our way to the pediatrician. She has an office on the edge of Manhattan, but its private enough so we don't need to deal with the crowd in the rest of the city. We don't want to be somewhere there are plenty of paparazzi, but we also wanted the best doctor for our little girl. Blake and Ryan recommended their pediatrician, dr Annabel Riley, so we are seeing her too.