Dreadful Deeds

Chapter11- Finding Out

I wake up in the morning with the most largest smile on my face, i slip on my slippers at the speed of light and speed out my door and down the stairs. I look around to see that my mother has gone to work, it's 12:00PM so the keys are here.
I walk over to the kitchen and there they are, the keys sitting on top of a coaster on the dining table, with a note.

*Here are your keys Mary, i've gone to work, let me know how the ride is* the note said with a small smiley face. I grab the keys and step outside into the porch. It's quite a sunny and bright day in London today. Never usually like this, it's always dark and gloomy and more than often poring it down with floods of rain. I walk over to the car driver door. And unlock it.

I open the car door, and inside. Just say on the seat, is a brown envelope, with my name on it. I pick it up from the seat and sit down, closing the door beside me. I tear open the envelope, pulling out a small sheet of paper with writing. It says.
*Mary, i'm so sorry to do this, and i'm even more sorry that i made you feel like i was over working, i was saving up for this car for you, as a present to right my wrongs. I've gone to war, to the army up the north, way out of London, Im sorry i had to leave, I love you Mary, but we cannot be together, i cannot marry, i need to do this, goodbye Mary Anne*

As i read the written words, my heart skips a beat, i feel my heart decreasing with such sudden force, like what i had built up has came crashing down like a fallen plane. He's really gone, the car was the most thoughtful thing he had ever done, was it all just a big joke? Did he even care?
All i know is that my heart was destroyed. I couldn't bare the fact of telling my Mother either.

I don't understand, he married me, he spent 2 years with me. I'm pregnant for heavens sakes. The baby comes soon, how am i supposed to do it without him by my side? I'm lost without him, i can't bare the fact of the light disappearing into the shadows. I can't bare the thought of living a life that does not hold him in it. He's my life, and only courage of ever existing.

I cannot function without him, he's a one and only decision made. He's a complete essay in a last minute attempt. He's a motivator of an element that only my mind could activate. My mind will not allow it because of his disappearance. I'm beyond broken, I'm struck with an awful feeling at the bottom and top of my heart, my soul is deprived from happiness. What could i ever do without that man, i'm lost.