Dreadful Deeds

Chapter15- False Divorce

I want a civilised relationship with my father. What i do not want is him randomly turning up in my mothers bed. Like how inconsiderate of my mother to say to me things are complicated. How are things complicated now but not 15 years ago. I will never understand how people work.
One minute she despises him, and he makes her blood boil. But the next he's in her bed.

I don't get it, i don't think i even want my dad here. I hear a slow knock on my door.
"Hey." My father says walking into my room. "Look i know we aren't on the best of terms but just give me a chance to try and explain." Hesitating wether to tell him to get the hell out or let him speak, i come to the decision to give it a shot. "What then?" i say rudely.

"Me and your mother, we're like extremely in love- "Woah Woah Woah, In love? you've lost me there dad, how are you in love when you left for 15 years!?" I interrupt. "Things can make its way back, just like me and your mother, i think the time apart has made us stronger." As soon as he says that i instantly think of Dean.
Maybe he just needs time.

I'm not quite sure but by the look in my dads eyes, tells me there is a lot more that he needs to say. "So is that it then? your just back in our lives like nothing went on?" I say looking him in his eyes. "Yeah hopefully it stays that way, it should stay that way cause-" He pauses and doesn't finish his sentence, leaving me confused.
"Because what?" i ask

"Well because, we never got a divorce, that was a lie, i'm still married to your mother." He says looking at me with a strong look. "Oh, well okay, just give me some time to get over this, sudden things like this just seem to give me a hard time." I say grabbing my duvet and lying down in bed. My dad leaves the room.

And again like always, i question my entire life. Am i that vulnerable, that i get lied to every single time. A part of me doesn't deserve this. I don't need false hopes and negatives swarming around me. I just need a positive life. I could've had that if Dean just stayed by my side. I've lost him, and my baby, everyone's truths. I'm slowly slipping away and it's only a matter of time. I cannot cope.