366: One Story Per Day (2024)

Day 51 - My Dearest

My Dearest,

     It's been a long since our last conversation. Sometimes, in the quiet hours of the day, I find myself thinking about you—wondering where you are, what you're doing, and whether you ever think of me.

     I've replayed our chats in my head a thousand times, looking for clues and attempting to make sense of how we got ourselves here, strangers in a world that once felt so familiar. We used to share everything, right? Hopes, dreams, anxieties, and insecurities—all exposed in the shelter of our trust.

     But we must have lost that connection somewhere along the road. It went through our fingers like sand, leaving only echoes of what previously were. And now we're standing on opposite sides of a seemingly impassable gap.

     I wish I could express how much I miss you—how your absence pounds on my heart like a stone, pushing me down to the depths of loneliness. But pride gets in the way. That obstinate voice within my brain that tells me I should be tough, go on, and not need you as much as I do.

     But the fact is that I need you. I need your laughter to dispel the gloom, your voice to calm my tormented thoughts, and your presence to fill the voids in my spirit. I miss the way you used to look at me, as if I was the only person in the world who cared as if I were your haven amid a sea of uncertainty.

     I know I have made mistakes—said things we didn't mean, let our pride get the best of us, and allowed fear to cloud our thinking. But deep down, I feel there is a spark between us, a glimmer of optimism that will not be destroyed no matter how hard we try.

     So here I am, reaching across the quiet, hoping against hope that you would hear my words and understand that they are from the bottom of my heart. I'm not sure whether we can ever go back to the way things were, or if we can ever bridge the gap that divides us, but I'm prepared to try if you are.

      Because, despite everything, despite the agony, hurt, and uncertainty, I continue to believe in us. I believe in the power of forgiveness, the strength of love, and the perseverance of the human spirit. And perhaps, if we are ready to take a risk, we might find our way back to each other, one step at a time.

     But even if we never talk again, even if we are only distant recollections in one other's thoughts, know that you will always have a particular place in my heart. You were my confidant, my partner-in-crime, and my soulmate, and I'll cherish the memories we made for the rest of my life.

     As I write these words, I can't help but think that today is our second anniversary. It's a stinging reminder of what we once had and what we've lost, but it also offers a glimmer of hope that, someday, we'll be able to reconnect. Until then, know that you are never far from my mind and that I will always be here, waiting for you with open arms and a hopeful heart.