Just Maybe (a.m fanfic)

Chapter 31

Bea's POV 3 days before graduation

Go to sleep, Bea. I thought as I closed my eyes. But every time I close my eyes, the dramatic rain kiss replayed in my head.

It played over and over again. I can't get it out of my head. It acted as if it was an annoying but catchy song stuck in my head.

I got up and went straight to the bathroom. My hands ran through the cold water as I took my glasses off and dipped my head down. Splashing the water over my face and looking up.

My face blurry. Everything is blurry besides my thoughts.

Austin's words replayed in my head just like the kiss.

I don't want to loose you again ..

Remembering the way he looked at me when he said those 7 words.

His hazel eyes looking into mine. Those soft yet helpless eyes staring into my soul. His wet hair fell down and looked like Biebers hair when he was 13. And those lips.

When he placed his lips on mine, I couldn't help but to fall into his arms. It's like nothings changed. At that moment, I felt like Austin never left. It felt like we were still a thing.

As if we were back to when we were 19. When we were dating.

But once I felt that feeling again, I quickly backed away and told him the truth.

I can't do this again ..

And I can't. After realizing I liked the kiss, déjà vu kicked in. It took me back to the time when we started dating. The one thing that kick started that week of love.

The kiss.

He whispered how come I didn't see this before and then kissed me. That then began our week of affection and embrace. Then after that, he left.

Left and didn't say goodbye. I wouldn't blame him because he told me all about management. How they didn't want us to be together, which cleared up so many questions.

Why didn't he keep in touch? Because management wouldn't let him.

How come he never called back? Because management blocked my number.

I get it now.

But besides that I'm afraid this will happen again. He leaves and comes back years to come. It hurts and it's scary.

Let's say I do start dating him again, what will happen after the month is over?

The month he and the 3 took off for vacation. What will happen? Long distant relationship? No. Not again.

Like he said before, management will find a way for him not to be with me. I don't want to feel hurt and discarded like before.

I don't want my heart to break again every time we can't be together. It will tear me apart not being able to kiss him or just be near him. Because let's face the truth, I do like Austin.

I don't like him because of his fame or his money. I like him because he didn't change. He had the same personality he had 2 years ago.

I pushed away the thoughts and said I didn't like him because I want to sound tough. Because during the years Austin was gone, my questions frustrated me.

Not knowing the answers made me upset with him. It made me hate him even more. But the truth is, I was dying inside.

Not being able to see him or call him. Not being able to hear his voice again. Or not able to hug him or wear his cozy hoodies.

All in all, I just don't want to hurt again. I don't why to suffer again. The agony almost killed me.

My heart has already taken too much heart break. One being my dad not coming back and the other Austin not being there.

This sounds cheesy but I need time to work on myself. Austin had his time, now it's my turn.

I need time away from him. Time to let me think about this whole situation. Time to forget the feeling when he's near me. Time to get away and forget his sweet laughter.

Time to work on myself. Because if I succeed in forgetting him, my heart will start healing.

My heart is like a punching bag. It's been beaten and bruised for so long. I need to take the broken bag down and replace it with a new and improved bag.

Because all this time my heart has been constantly hurting. It's been constantly beaten up. I need to get away and replace it with a new and improved heart.

A heart that can love for a lifetime. A heart that can be even more tough when he leaves again. A heart that will make me a better person.

After drying my face and putting my glasses back on, I went back into my room. I turned the lights off and climbed into bed. I took my glasses off and closed my eyes.

Considering on going away and having time to myself. Time for me to have a new and improved bag.

The last part I was talking theoretically not physically. Bea doesn't has a heart condition or anything XD she's not dying XD

But yeah. I would think the same way as bea. I wouldn't want to go through that again.

If you were Bea would you feel the same way or would you do it differently ? Comment I want to know your opinions :)

I loved this chapter because for once Bea was truthful to herself. She said she likes Austin which is a hard thing for her to do because after 2 years she learned to hate him :)

I give props to Bea ! You go Bea ! Round of applause goes to Bea .. *clap clap clap*

HAHAHAHA anyways don't forget to vote :) 30 votes and I'll make chapter 32 !

You don't want to miss it.

❤️ -A