HERO - Spideypool [fanfic]

Ch. 25

it's 3am so my grammar may have abandoned me. writing on my phone. hungry. .....ok
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**WADE**

I was in bed minding my own business, when there was a sudden knock on my window.

[guess who wanted to join in]

With a grunt of annoyance, I quickly put my pants back on and walked over to open the window, letting Spider-Man in.

"You have no idea what just-.....why do you looked so pissed off?"

I sighed, but put on a happy face, despite how frustrated I was at the moment.

"You interrupted my fapping," I said bluntly, the mental picture of Peter blushing like crazy enough to make me forgive him for interrupting me in the first place.

"Uh...sorry?" he stammered, awkwardly. I chuckled, and winked at him.

"Don't be. I was thinking of you anyways."

<You cheeky bastard>
[Get 'em]

After a long moment of silence, Spider-Man started stuttering again, pointing out of the window while rambling about Heat Lamp.

"Woah, slow down, arachne boy. Heat Lamp did what?"

"Escaped!" he almost yelled, waving his hands around like a lunatic.
"Melted the bars of the prison cell, killed the guards. He's on the loose again."

Obviously he's on the loose again, that's sort of what "escape" means.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure I cut his achilles tendons last time we met, how is he even walking?" I asked, slowly processing what Peter was saying.

We had to fight this dickhead again? But he was so lame! Seriously, I can't take any more of his cliche villain behavious, his cheesy lines and his horrible, horrible nickname. I mean, Garbage Can would still be a better name than Heat Lamp. Would suit him better too, if you understand my pun...

<...you're so funny, Wade>
"I know, I'm hilarious."

Peter cocked his head to the side, but as usual; he didn't ask what i was talking about. He just continued with his own sentence - which, come to think of it, probably held more importance than whatever question he would have for me talking back to my boxes again. 

"Well, the bastard can fly, so...I guess that's an advantage?" he suggested.

Dammit! That's right. Bitch got better powers than me. It's always been a big dream of mine to be a bird.

"I can imagine the headlines; crazy man levitates out of prison. That'll get people talking."

He slapped me. Spider-Man, the great hero of Queens, slapped me across the face, without saying a word.

"Domestic violence!" I exclaimed, even though the slap barely hurt.

"I'm so done with you," he mumbled, but the hidden meaning behind those words was enough to make me want to rip that mask off and kiss him right away.

"We need a plan. A strategy," he said, and for once; I agreed.

Apparantly putting this guy in a cell wasn't enough, but Peter didn't want anyone to die in the process. 

[I like our old ways better...]
<Same. Quicker, easier, less thinking.>
[No brain, no pain]
"No brain, no gain, dear boxes. Peter's right, we need a plan."

Spider-Man laughed at that, and brought a hand up to his chest, wiping an invisible tear from his face.

"I'm touched by the fact you're defending me from your boxes," he said, and I smiled.

"Well, I'm the only one capable of doing it," I retorted, and he shrugged.

"Would be kind of hard to defend myself against someone I can't hear, yeah," he admitted, and a short silence followed.

Then, as if he was scared he'd offended me by talking about my split personality issues, he rolled up his mask to peck me on the lips. I mean, I didn't complain, but...

"Good plan," I said, and he chuckled again.

"Right. Plan. What do we even know about this guy?"

<His name is Adam. Quite a common name, really.>
[He's lame. As fuck.] 
<He's a rapist>
[And a murderer.] 
<He's got powers we don't know much about>
[And he's crazy. Hey, like us!]
"That could be something..."

"What?" Peter asked.

"Do you believe people are born evil?" I asked, and he shook his head.
"Well, Heat Lamp said he wanted to watch the world burn. Why? What did the world ever do to him?"

"We don't know," Peter replied, crossing his arms over his chest. I pointed a finger at him.

"Exactly! We don't know his motives for his actions. What's that saying, that...Knowledge is power, or whatever?" I paused, but Peter seemed to be too deep in thought to imply anything.
"If we knew more of his past, maybe it would help us understand him more. And understanding-"

"-could be all he needs," Spidey finished.

Well, I was about to say kill him, but I guess that works too.

"Knowing his motives could let us know his weaknesses," Peter said, and I nodded. With a big smile, Peter grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me in for a kiss, apparantly immensly proud that I could use my brain for once and come up with a decent strategy, instead of waving weapons around like a madman. 

"Great!" he cheered.

"I might have something you'd be interested in, then," someone said, and we turned around to see Iceman on a trail of...well, ice, like a mountain; leading up to my window.

"Come with me."

******

this is what happens when i can't sleep. hope it wasn't too shit lol