HERO - Spideypool [fanfic]

Ch. 30

Happy new year, miss Sophie! (and all of you whose name isn't Sophie...xD)

**PETER**

I can honestly say that my life had changed a lot lately. After meeting Deadpool, I discovered I was able to allow myself some happiness even after losing Gwen. And after losing Wade, everything seemed like a bigger challenge than before.

Everything I used to do before I met him felt impossible now. Getting up in the morning, daily life, saving the city...I thought I'd be going back to normal, but how could I do that when crazy had become my new normal?

It's not like I lost him, though...I know I had a choice - but Spider-Man didn't. I couldn't have double standards like that - being against murder, while dating a mercenary. It had to end at some point.

Only a fool would expect that to work out.

I sighed as I approached the front door, my clothes back on to cover the suit, and opened the door - which felt a lot heavier than it actually was.
I pressed my lips in a thin line when I entered the kitchen, where aunt May was making dinner. My entire body hurt after being thrown into walls and stepped on today, and I just wanted to go to bed and sleep through the pain. Both the physical and emotional.

"It's kind of burnt, but at least we won't be starving," aunt May said, her back still against mine, when she heard me come in.

I stood there, leaning against the counter with my eyes fixed on the back of her head, and was overwhelmed with a crushing sadness.

How was she smiling? How could she even breathe after what happened to uncle Ben? He'd been torn away from her, just in the matter of seconds. One minute he was probably kissing her goodbye on the cheek, and in the next he was bleeding out on the streets, his lips never to touch hers again.

Aunt May had no one. Just like me. All we had was each other, and I kept putting her through hell. First, her husband gets killed, and then her nephew starts coming home almost every night with blood in his face and just a bunch of lies and secrets. This woman - the closest thing I had to a mother - I kept leaving her. What would she do if I one day didn't come back?

She still hadn't turned around - she didn't ask as many questions when I left the house lately, probably just assuming I was with Wade - so I took the last few steps towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at me, and her smile turned into a frown when she saw my face, but before she got to say anything I wrapped my arms around her in a much needed hug.

"Peter, what's wrong?" she asked, stroking my back. I probably didn't hug her as much as she deserved. She deserved more hugs than the ones given whenever I was in need of one. What about the times she needed one?

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm sorry for always worrying you. I'm sorry uncle Ben isn't here. I'm sorry I don't thank you enough for being here for me. I'm just...I'm sorry." My voice broke, and as much as I tried to blink the tears away, I couldn't stop them from falling.

God, I was a mess.

"Peter.." aunt May comforted, and kissed the side of my head. "I love you. That's all you need to know - I love you, and I will never stop doing that. No matter what's bothering you, you can talk to me. And even if you don't want to talk; I'll still be here."

"I love you, too," I sniffled, and pulled away. Aunt May reached out and wiped the tears from my face, careful not to touch the cut on my cheek.

"Do I want to know about that?" she asked, referring to the cut. I took her hands and squeezed them.

"I can tell that you want to, but I'm not going to tell," I said, and she smiled sadly. She kissed my hands, and sent me upstairs to change into something clean.

"As long as I don't lose you, Peter," I heard her mumble to herself on my way up to my room.

Don't worry, aunt May. I'll stay alive for you.

*******

well woopti-fucking-doo would you look at that. Peter is sad. What's new

..I'm sorry for torturing you xD but hmmm what's going to happen in the next chapter i wonder