wonderwall ♔ k. bryant

eighteen

"Are you even listening to me?" 

Anthony snaps me out of whatever daze I was in, and I turn to face him.

"I-" I just stop myself mid-sentence and shake my head. "Sorry, Anthony. What were you saying?"

I'm so out of it today. I really went to go talk to Anthony to try and get my mind off Kris. I don't know why I thought that'd be the best idea because he's like his best friend, and my mind just keeps going back to him. But my mind's not the only thing going to him, I've caught myself a few times too many looking over in his direction. We didn't make eye contact, not once, which I'm somewhat thankful for deep down.

"Jesus, what has gotten into you?" Anthony asks, and I stay quiet. I'm not telling him what happened. He'll interfere and make things more awkward between Kris and I than they already are.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired."

Lie.

"Hmm. Well, fine. Get some sleep tonight, nerd. One-sided conversations are weird."

"Okay, Dad," I joke and he just rolls his eyes.

"You sound like half of Twitter."

"That's what I was aiming for."

Anthony just chuckles and shakes his head. I get ready to walk off and go talk to Dexter or something, but Anthony raises his brow at me and (lightly) grabs my arm.

"Mallory? What's that on your neck?"

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"There's... Something on my neck?"

"Yeah? It's really not that noticeable- Wait! Is this why you're so tired?" He asks and I feel like all the color flushed from my face.

Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit.

"I- It's not a big deal, Anthony. I am an adult," I tell him and he just chuckles.

"My girl's growing up!" He tries to act all "sentimental" and I roll my eyes.

"I'm twenty-four, Anthony." I just shake my head and he walks off, chuckling, and I sigh. 

"It's not a big deal."

Yes, it is a huge deal. I slept with Anthony's best friend, a guy I thought I hated, a guy that is now making me feel way too confused about my own feelings, and it's a huge fucking deal.

He doesn't know that it's him, right? I mean- Hopefully, he doesn't put two and two together? I don't even know what that other "two" would be. Most likely the fact that his roommate didn't show up last night. I guess that I wouldn't have to be the cause of that, he knows that he was with Sarah last night...

Sarah! Why does her name always get brought up?

I find myself stuck in another daze again. Stuck in a stupid daze about Kris, and I know this because Kyle's the one to snap me out of it.

"You're so obvious. You know that?" He says, and I furrow my brow.

"What am I so-"

"Mallory! You're looking in his direction about twice a minute-" He doesn't have to say his name. He knows. "-And that thing on your neck that you did an awful job at covering isn't helping you in this situation."

I just stand there, completely confounded by everything he told me. He knows. Dammit.

"How'd you get so smart, Kyle?"

"I went to Dartmouth. I have to be somewhat smart, Sunshine. But what I said only adds onto the fact that I saw Kris going into his hotel room this morning," he says and I shake my head.

"You won't tell anyone. Right?" 

"Well, of course, I won't tell anyone. I have more sense than that. But answer this question for me?"

"What is it?"

"How do you feel about him?"

It hits me like a brick wall. I still don't know, but hearing Kyle say it makes me question myself even more.

It's an awful thing. Not being able to recognize your own feelings. Why am I like this?

"Honestly? I have no idea. It's just... Something different. That's all I can say, I guess," I tell Kyle.

"Whenever you do figure it out, Mallory, and if it's something positive, you need to do something about it," he suggests and I shake my head, confused to why I would bother wasting my time on someone who'd never feel that way.

"Kyle, he doesn't like me. He has Sarah."

"Christ, Mallory," he groans, annoyed, "There's nothing going on with them. For lack of a better term, they're just friends with benefits. No strings attached. But he wants out of it, and if you do something, he'll find a way out."

Nothing. Absolutely nothing between them.

I feel ten pounds lighter with that information.

But I want to ask why he won't just end it if he wants out, but I don't have any room to talk. Even if the situations are way different.

Kyle sighs. "Listen, I know it's hard trying to figure this out, and you don't need an answer tomorrow morning. You'll figure it out. Good luck, Mallory." With that, Kyle leaves me, but then turns back to tell me that Joe was looking for me. I don't even know if I can focus on what he'd have to say to me right now.

A/N

hey friends

how is everyone? it's been way too long, i know i know.

but hey !!! since the last time i updated, the cubs made it to the nlcs!! this has been quite the season

this chapter was short and kinda meh, but right now, i'm at a pretty "meh" point in the story, so i think it's something you might have to epect for the net few chapters?? I'm just trying to move past some stuff because I can't just jump from one thing to another in two chapters ya know 

if you guys haven't checked out Breathe Me, go and do that, maybe?? it's a lil side project, i guess, and i will most likely have the first chapter posted within the next week

this is unrelated but have you guys listened to Hamilton? im OBSESSED

i think that's it!!

vote, comment, stay healthy, and have a fantastic week because you all know i love love love you