Lust of Misanthropy

VIII. Windows

That upcoming night, Yuri had fallen asleep on my chest yet again– though we were in my room rather than downstairs– to which I hope she would have pleasant reveries and thoughts.

Something in my chest made me feel as if I was acting out of misconduct; I didn't feel like I had the right mind set yesterday. Oddly enough, I couldn't denote whether or not it was guilt or general melancholy.

Upon walking outside was one of the only days where I didn't have someone at my gates waiting for me. Yuri had held my hand on the way to school, soon developing into a cling to my arm, head softly resting on my shoulder.

The day went by pretty inaudible, not a single person had an interaction with me (Although I claim I am heavily used to this, as of recently I was just getting used to the feeling), all while feeling insatiated.

I made my way to the clubroom at the end of the day, feeling quite unwitting of what I should expect.

As I walked in, Monika glanced to me and smiled warmly. "Hey there, bud," she said, approaching me. "How are you feeling?"

I hesitated on responding, trying to discern whether or not she was referring to my absence, or just in general. "I, uh... I'm doing well." I replied.

"That's good to hear," she said, digging through a few small containers in the body of her podium, "You wanna help me out?" she asked.

Maybe this was a chance to make me feel better about myself...

"Hm, sure." I said.

"Cool!" Monika answered joyously, "This will boost your little 'grade' that I didn't put in for yesterday."

Monika handed me a small 500-yen coin, placing it directly on the palm of my hand. I shot her a flummoxing look.

"Come get a drink with me after school," she said, with a light blush, tilting her head and continuing to dabble with her papers.

A few things crossed my mind, and the main concern was why she'd ask me after the incident a few days ago... And if that wasn't enough to detest me, I barely even spoke to Monika in general.

"Okay," I said, sort of awkwardly. "What are we getting, sake?" I asked.

Monika laughed affably, "No, silly! I'm thinking coffee."

"Alright..." I said, nonchalantly making an attempt to step away from the conversation.

It's been a while since I've toggled with the novel that Yuri had gifted me. In fact, I don't believe she's had a very suitable amount of time to read, either.

I sat down next to Yuri, whom chose to sit on the floor in the back of the class, whom I couldn't see from afar. Ironically, she was holding the same novel I was pondering of (Portrait of Markov), although her book seemed to be crammed with a variety of notes, papers, debris, perhaps; it appeared rather corpulent as of today.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her in a gentle voice. Mid-sentence, Yuri had already dropped her head down into my shoulder.

"I'm feeling okay, now," Yuri asked, "I didn't think I could go to first period without you."

Yet again, Sayori had held her absence streak firm. Natsuki was engrossed into some colourful manga of her's, and Monika didn't seem to have anything to do; quietly staring at the sky, a jovial-as-always smile on her face.

A while passed. Yuri and I read only for a few minutes or so, after I had asked her if we were going to continue.

"Okay," Monika blurted out from her front desk, "Today, instead of poems, we'll be doing a little work."

Almost in unison, everyone in the room lowered their heads in disenchantment.

Monika giggled lightly to herself, "Don't feel down... It will be some out-of-class work. We'll split up into groups to fill our parts."

"Well, what's the work?" Natsuki asked hubristically.

"We don't have many members here at the club, as you can all see..." Monika awkwardly waved her hand around to indicate the lack of presence in the room. "So, I've decided that we're going to do our own part in bringing in more; simple as that!"

Natsuki pressed her feet to the ground and narrowed her position towards Monika, causing everyone to stare attentively.

"NEW people!? What's wrong with what we have now?" Natsuki erupted.

Surprisingly, Monika remained unyielding to strike back, "Nothing, I think we're great. It just doesn't seem like fi-" she paused mid-sentence

  私たちだけsayori                       
                        ごめんなさい
            , seeming to assume that Sayori wasn't going to be back, for at least a while.

Yuri and I gave each other strong looks. She seemed a tad perturbed by the idea of doing work, unusual behaviour from her, although it's held firm like this since she became excessively doting.

"Also, I'll be picking the partners." Monika added with a sly smile.

Immediately after she finished speaking, Yuri's grip on my arm tightened. Both of us knew that Monika wasn't going to be willing to let Yuri and I run off together.

Hesitating to speak, Monika carried on, "...So, since I haven't gotten to see him much– at all– I'll go with -kun."