Lust of Misanthropy

XVI. Guttered Mind

Do you ever feel like you've forgotten where you are, after an elongated or rough stretch of the limbs? The kind of feeling that doesn't exactly hurt, but makes you ill from the haze? That's the kind of feeling I was having.

I shook my head with a grunt and blinked my eyes rapidly. Upon opening them, I shivered in a worrisome manner.

"Ugh," I muttered, gawking to the side of me, to see Monika staring extensively in my eyes, holding both hands on my arm.

"Are you feeling low, -kun?" she asked.

I felt uncomfortable, all of a sudden. Assuming that it was just my head being all fuddled, I shrugged it off and pat Natsuki's forehead; she was still sleeping securely and reliably on my lap. "She's burning up," I said, holding her soft, reddened cheek.

"That's just Natsuki," Monika said with a tiring sigh, "Always fussy." She slumped her head down on my arm, nuzzling her nose against my neck comfortingly.

She continued to rub up on me in a mawkish way, caressing my arm with a sense of lust.

"Was I sleeping?" I asked abruptly.

"No," Monika said with a smile, as one of her hands traveled down to my upper thigh, causing me to shiver, "Spaceman..." she laughed softly.

I nestled up to Monika's forehead, "Sorry," I muttered.

Suddenly, Monika jerked my arm towards her, "Come here, let me cuddle you!" she said with an unsteady giggle.

Doing so jostled Natsuki awake. "Hey... I was sleeping, get back here," she grumbled with a fatigued tone. For a split second, she skimmed the scene of Monika holding me down, restrained to her affectionate grasp.

Monika, whose face was centimetres from mine, held a single hand on her cheek, "Silly me, I just wanted to get a chance to hold him."

Natsuki put on an inane pouty face, and crossed her arms, "But it's my house."

Stroking my back with one hand, and my hair with another, Monika replied, "Just a minute with him, please?" she asked sincerely.

Before Natsuki replied, her eyes lit up, "Shit, the cupcakes!" she bleated, as she scuttled out of her seat and furtively began to remove the tray from the oven.

Without hesitation, Monika slid her hand under my shirt and ran her fingers up my side. Her face nuzzled against mine every few seconds, with a slight giggle once in a while, so close to my face that it I'd feel her voice resonate off of my cheeks. Her and I held each other endearingly on Natsuki's furniture.

Vaguely, I could hear Natsuki grunting in a shrewd tone as she studied her cupcakes. "Eh," she began, sliding the tray off of the counter, "Better rough than burnt," she sighed.

I sat up simultaneously, along with Monika, who was now straddling me with an arched back, hands pressed to my chest.

"They don't seem that hard," I complemented.

"Ah, no biggie, this is only the first batch," Natsuki claimed, "I can eat the rough ones if you guys want."

For the rest of my visit, Natsuki didn't seem to mind Monika and I, as she sat quietly and watched anime on her– well, our favourite channel.

Monika would occasionally caress my bare skin under my shirt from time to time, and smile at me from above, eyes lowered and cheeks flushed. She evoked quite a deal of admiration into me after having no signs of boredom or tire whilst lying with me until the night had arrived.

Though, the thought of Yuri struck me. Worrisome I was, I sat up.

'Damnit... I let her go home alone. I didn't think I'd be out this long...'

I thought to myself, while Natsuki and Monika threw me confused looks as I glanced at my wristwatch.

I sighed, and played it off in a reserved manner. "Thanks for inviting me, guys, but I have to get to studying. Big physics first-term tomorr-"

"Cut it out, -kun," Natsuki pouted, as she managed to shut me up.

I looked at Monika, who had an unsure look on her face. I had to shake it off, though. Yuri had to be sick out of her mind waiting for me, this thwart in my return will kill her.

"It's just, a little too late. I'll see you guys tomorrow," I said, hoisting my bag over my shoulder while hastily making an exit.

"You can sleep here," Monika offered in a lewd manner. I figured this was her intimidation method.

I shook my head and shrugged in a sham-like manner to convey discontner, "Maybe another time..."

Finally, I made it out of that house. I sprinted home by foot, the sweat of my brow penetrated by the gales I had rushed into; my eyes struggling to stay open through the dull murk of the night.

I couldn't come to think of what she'd be wondering right now. Something told me she'd know what I was doing.

Christ, I'm such an asshole...

Almost there.

I took a quick second or two to catch my breath, to make it seem like I wasn't in a hurry. I wanted to evade from all suspicion possible.

Of course, the lights are off.

I entered the door with precaution, and, gazed into the black air until my eyes fixated the scene.

"Yuri?" I called out in an ill shout. I could faintly make out what was of my living room, almost as if this tedious fog had slipped into my house.

From afar, as far as in me lies, I caught Yuri's precious figure, standing idle by the kitchen counter, her back towards me. I cautiously approached her.

"Hey," I began, with a warming whisper. In my head, I came up with an excuse as quickly as possible, "...I got into a fight at the metro station," I scratched my head in an awkward manner, "Oh yeah... Big guy, didn't like my outfit, you get the deal. I'm sorry I'm late, Yuri."

Unattentively, Yuri shook her head and faced me with that classic unemotional and metallic look. She yawned, and cupped her hands,
"-kun, look," she coughed, her voice notably vapid and flat.

I stared at the table. It took me a while to notice the wine-red, unabsorbed substance blotched all over my table. I couldn't make out what it was, but I didn't mull over it.

"Don't worry about it," I said with a sigh, picking up a hand rag from the handle of my stove, and glancing to the other side of the counter, "What's that?"

"I made you something," she spoke, holding onto my hand, as I soaked up the thick substance into the rag with another.

I took a hard look at what now appeared to be a dish; pancakes.

Did she know they were my favourite?

"Awh," I chuckled with a giddy smile, "I love pancakes. I'm sorry I was absent, Yuri."

Yuri returned a weak beam, "I only care about your return."

I took a flummoxed second glance at the now blackened substance on the the rag, now causing me to want to question it. I guarantee this isn't what she was telling me to look at beforehand.

"Did you spill syrup?" I asked.

Yuri remained silent.