Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

XXXII.

~ Loki ~

"You said you loved her."

"Hm?" I knitted my eyebrows absently.

"You said you fight because you love her." Steve reiterated. "Is that true? Do you love her?"

I took in a deep breath before answering, the question bringing a sudden hot tinge to the tips of my ears. I knew that if I answered this question, if I told him what I truly felt for her; then it would be real. These emotions I fight to conceal, this attachment I deny to face at its full glory, this desire to be whole. All will be solidified. And I will be but another fool who has given his soul to a woman.

"..Yes." I nodded. "I do. Very much so."

He sighed before looking away vacantly, not even turning my way as he spoke again. "Why?"

I furrowed. "Why?"

"Why do you love her?"

I thought for a moment before responding again. ""It's.. a difficult question to answer. But she's not a very simple woman is she? Quite the opposite actually, she's complex. She's daring, perceptive, and incredibly benign. She outshines the stars and that's just speaking on her personality. I mean have you seen her? She's bewitching, exquisite, utterly-"

"Get to the point."

I sighed. "But that's not what I fell in love with. All that I've listed, alluring but too... Superficial, if I'm using that properly. I didn't fall in love with the things she said, I fell in love with the things she didn't have to. I was hypnotized by her smile, enraptured by her laugh but; when that smile faded -when that laugh drew quieter... it was in those moments that I found myself closer to her. It was the feeling she drew from me, the desire I had to be at her side, especially in those moments of solemness. The joy I felt whenever that smile rose again. Not just from the beauty of it but from the beauty of knowing she was happy. Of being able to smile with her. It's a rush. I'm beside her and am suddenly burdened with a feeling indescribable, one that borders addiction. I can't stand to be away from her. I can't stand being incomplete again. I'd go mad. To hear her call my name again, to see her smile - to for one last time see her do that godawful thing she does when she laughs in the midst of a drink~" I chuckled. "I'd do anything to see it again."

He turned to me. His gaze meeting mine in a somewhat doleful glimmer. I could tell he was fighting the urge to fall into a more softer expression. He spoke with a monotoned inflection, not callous but more indiscernible. "Does she know?"

I shook my head. "No. I've yet to find the courage to tell her."

"Are you afraid?"

"Are you mad? I'm terrified."

He sighed and held his arms behind his head. "How long do you think we'll be in here?"

"I haven't a clue. The best we can do is have faith. She'll get through this eventually."

- - -

"What the hell.."

~ (Y/N) ~

I'm here? Why am I here?

"Uh, hello? Hellooo?!" I called out as I lifted myself from the ground.

Warmer than I remember...

"Is anyone here?! Um... other me?" My voice bounced off the stars.

But nothing.

Something doesn't feel right.

This place, this realm. It didn't feel like my own. It carried my scent of course but, as I treaded these inky grounds; something didn't feel too...welcoming.