Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

XXXVI.

Heavy.

It felt heavy.

Like a hug at first. Arms that coil at my sides. A chest that presses against mine. It felt welcoming. It felt endearing. But tighter it became. Uncomfortable at first but suffocating as it proceeded. I felt like I was being crushed, compressed; slowly squeezed into nothingness. I was becoming smaller and smaller. More and more insignificant, I didn't matter anymore. I didn't deserve love.

The incantation was soon to set in.

She bathes me in bleach as she prepares to wear my skin. She whispers sweet nothings. Entices the illusion of death as she disrobes me. I am nothing and everything all at once.

Embrace me.

She is temptation. She is guilt. She is doubt. All that has fallen into place to bring us here and she stands before me now, glaring from the other side of a one way window. I am afraid. I am at peace. I am ill prepared.

Make me whole again.

Give me everything.

Let me be you as you are me and let us be unbothered by anything.

Do you remember being born?

She holds my hand as I slit her throat.

"So, he lied to you too."

~ Y/N ~

I nodded as I lifted the straps of my nightgown. "I'm sorry again about not being in the mood to-"

"No, no it's okay. Don't worry yourself about that. I'm just.... How could Thor lie to you? Why?"

"I don't... think he lied. He just- he didn't tell me everything."

"You could have died!" He shook his head. "You fought a coma for nine days. Who knew what had become of you. Did he even think about what would have happened if-"

"But it didn't." I stopped him. "And I'm here."

He sighed. "How long were you there?"

I swallowed before answering. "...Years."

"I'm going to kill him."

"Loki." I warned.

"If it's the last thing I do I'll-"

"Listen to me.-"

"I swear to Odin I'll make him-"

"Loki, stop it!"

"No, you stop it (Y/N)!" He stood. "You need to take this seriously! Do you not understand the price that could have been paid for his insolence?! The damage left could have been Irreparable!" He barked. "He made a bargain of you! He risked you for a chance!"

"And don't you think I'm upset about that?!" I exclaimed. "I don't like being in these situations, I don't like being in the dark. What happened was-"

"Horrifying (Y/N), horrifying! And the outcome could have been all the more devastating. He gave you a fake elixir. You were fighting the crystal yourself, you could have been torn apart at any point and no one would have known why. You were lucky to have been favored by it. But what if you weren't? Huh? What if? What would we do then?! What would I do?! Did you ever stop and think of what would become of me?"

"Loki-"

"What he did was unforgivable."

"Loki, let's just talk about this for a second."