Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

XXXIII.

Eight days.

Eight days. Six hours. Twenty-three minutes.

That much has passed since the last time I heard your voice. Since the last time you spoke to me. Since the last time I ate or got any significant rest. Since the last time I left your side.

You haven't opened your eyes since then.

And I'm too afraid to close mine.

The scene plays like a movie whenever my eyelids fall too heavy. The crash of your back against those dark walls. That thing chasing after you. The sounds of tearing flesh and shattering bone that followed after.

And then turning that corner to see you.

And the sight- By God, the sight of it all. It was like a bad dream. The sound of your voice drowned in a gargle of blood as you begged for it stop. The scream, that god forsaken scream that erupted as you hit the ground.

If there were any food in my stomach I'd probably vomit at the thought.

The thought of you being in agony. And I lacking the power to stop it.

You closed your eyes and the world went dark.  For there is no light I'd bother see than what shines when you look at me.

I can't help but fear that light may never shine again.

"You can't stay in here forever."

~ Loki ~

"Leave us be." I murmured.

"It's been eight days, Loki." Bruce exhaled. "I know you want her to wake up but-"

"I said leave us be!" I roared.

Shaking his head, he let out a solemn sigh and closed the door. A flick at the light switch as he left. I turned to her once more and laid my lips gently against her delicate knuckles. You were warmer than ever. Not too hot but, warm enough to ease the knots that built up in my throat.

"I shaved yesterday." I continued. "I thought of you and the scolding I'd probably get from my lack of upkeep. So I thought it'd be well of me to at least do that." I sighed.

"Bruce and St.. Bruce~" I exhaled. "Is still working on a way to get back to Midgard. Figures there might be another way to get back without the use of K2. ~ Let's just say we won't be using our microwave anytime soon."

I waited in the still air for a moment. For a response? Who knows. I knew that talking to her was as bargaining as talking to a shadow. But still, a part of me carried out that fantasy. Fantasy that she'd part her lips and fill the empty spaces where her voice should lie. Fantasy that she'd grip at my fingers and pull them against her heart to feel it race once more. Fantasy that in some way I could be connected to her one last time.

But delusions are just that. Delusions. And fantasy always proved foolish in the end.

"Do you remember the first time we were alone together? That little pity party we threw ourselves before the doors of the main entrance?" I played with her fingers. "You probably didn't notice. You were too busy wiping away the tears in your eyes but, I found mine locked on you the entire time."

"I didn't know why." I confessed. "But even when I realized I was gawking I still couldn't find it in myself to look away. I just gravitated towards you. Fawned like a moth to a flame. Notably though," I chuckled. "If you had caught me that evening in my chambers, you would have saw what price I had to pay for looking like a complete dullard in front of the crystal. It was a sight to see, I felt like an absolute fool." I shook my head.

"I should have known I was done for then. When I found myself denying what feelings stirred about whenever you were around. But like always, I lacked the strength to give face. It wasn't until I found myself in danger of losing someone I had, though begrudgingly, deeply admired; that I caved and let what I truly felt be known."

"I think about it sometimes." I went on. "How cavalier I was with what time we spent together. I took it for granted. The universe on my lap and at a time felt her only worthy of a passing glance. If only I could go back. Stare a little longer. Make you laugh a little harder. Be the man that you always deserved."

"It's cruel what you did to me." I said softly.

"To make me fall in love with you. Make me find solace in you and only you. Make me need you more than I'll ever need anything else and then just leave me like that? Without even the slightest goodbye. I don't deserve that."

"I don't deserve to be alone again."

"It's selfish." I scowled. "I mean did you even think of what would become of me once you left? Did you think I could just move on? Keep being The God of Mischief and act as if you had never happened?"

"I could spit at the thought." I hissed.

"No. No!" I proclaimed. "You won't be rid of me so easily! Not while I can stand for it!" My voice wobbled. "So you might as well just get up now because this... this isn't... how it ends.."

My eyes felt hot with desperation as my words fizzled into the air. I sighed and bent in my chair to lay against her stomach. Scooping my hands up under her to bring her to a partial cradle as I pleaded. "How dreadful of you? To try and turn abandon like everyone else. Just leave me here to fall in love with the pain of a memory? To be so scornful as to take my heart and flee. You won't get away with this."

I snickered as I wiped away my tears. "Funny how cruel the joke is."

"To live millenniums searching for a kingdom."

"Then find it in you."

PoeticMindsEye.

*This was short, I know. Originally it was supposed to be included in the last chapter but, it almost felt out of place to continue once the main character fell unconscious. The next chapter will be much longer though. Hopefully, you guys liked this one.*