Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

XXXVIII.

I thought of you before I opened my eyes this morning.

Before the sun could rise. Before the birds could chirp. Before the sound of my voice could leave my lips; you were the thought that came before breath.

It felt like love at first, a gift wrapped in a bow the color of your eyes. But as the notion proceeded I realized this particular feeling was an instinct, a will; a memory ingrained into muscle. No word was beyond that. You were the border that so lined my two worlds.

To live each day and die again, I awake; you my resurrection. To meet the void and be denied his blessing; I see your face before I am alive again.

What is this feeling, I ponder; that even a god beyond flesh could not surpass? A morsel. A blessing. A world between worlds.

I thought of you before I opened my eyes this morning.

~ Y/N ~

Stained sun rays filtered through crimson curtains, I awake to the smell of Irish Tweed still on his skin. His arms are wrapped around me, knitted against my sides as my face presses against his heart. I linger in the moment before I slip out of his grip, sparing a second to look down at him as he slumbers.

I've never felt more lucky to exist. All that has happened before and all that will happen after could never compare to what gratitude I feel to be able to lay beside him. Of all the men in the universe, I have the arms of the most beautiful, the most gracious; the most gentle and benign. No soul could ever be so fortunate as I am right now.

I kiss his forehead gently and whisper. "I love you." And with a smile I leave the bed and head to the bathroom.

The marble tiled floors are cold against my feet and a draft leaks from the crack of a window placed high above the bath. I lean over the tub to shut it completely and meet my reflection as I do so.

"Whoops." I chuckled as I snatch the curtains closed. "Still naked."

Turning from the curtained window unto the shower a few steps away, I turn the dial and prepare to hop in. I grab my toiletries from the shelf and fish a towel from the cabinet beneath the sink; finding myself in front of the mirror as I stood again.

I sighed as I eyed my own reflection in the mirror.

Since the official coalescence of the crystal and I, our minds have become one. There is no battle for a vessel, nor plead for control. But a million instruments of the same harmony orchestrated into one ballad. There is no both but an only. I have her doubts and insecurities; she has my humanity and drive. We are one for the first time in eons. And all though this new life of mine is liberating; I can still feel her dread boiling in the pit of my stomach.

"You're panicking." I put a palm to my stomach. "We've talked about this. We're okay."

With a deep breath, I turned and hopped in the shower. Closing my eyes as I let the water pour over me.

You're allowed to be doubtful, I won't blame you. This is new for you, for us. But remember, after all of these years you've spent sistering me; nothing has changed. This is the same body if not more improved. It should come easy. And if there's a problem, I'll be here for you every step of the way.

We're whole now. Isn't that wonderful?

Heaving as I almost lost footing, I took hold of the door handle on my side; disoriented by a brief staggering at the back of my skull.