It's Not Like I Like You (Natsuri)

Chapter 14: Waiting

Sayori's POV

Seeing her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes sparkle when she's happy is enough for me, but why? Why does it hurt? Oh yeah, she loved him.

And I'm so stupid, I let myself fall in love with her. But...who wouldn't?
She's smart, talented, beautiful, everything about her is perfect, and even if by some miracle I have a chance with her I'll just destroy her social reputation.

Why must the world be this cruel? Natsuki's right, this is a stupid situation. Lucky her though, she and Yuri were finally together. I smiled at the thought, I could see it in their eyes that they really cared for each other. It's been so long since I've waited for this day to happen and it finally came true.

I'm so happy for them.

I wonder how it feels to love someone? Not just from your family but for another complete stranger. To feel the kind of happiness whenever they do all those cheesy stuff for you, to hold hands together while taking a walk on the park, to feel the joy just seeing that person, and to feel the spark.

I felt all that with Monika.

She's the reason why I wake up every morning. She's the reason why I joined the literature club. She's the reason why I'm feeling all this mixed and messed up emotions. She's the reason why I'm...happy.

Yet she's also the reason why I feel dead just like now.

But again it's my fault, none of this is MC's fault. I suddenly remembered the girl I met while I was crying inside the public bathroom.

I'm grateful she's there, she helped me get back on my feet and she's really a nice person. She even skipped classes with me just to make sure I'm okay, she helped me dealing with the pain.
I'll always remember those clear blue eyes and blonde hair. I didn't catch her name and we've never seen each other since then.

Yet despite her advice, the pain keeps coming back. And it always will.

Twisting the knob open to my house, I bumped into my mom, who seems to be in a hurry. "Sayori sweetie I have to work double shift, I'll be back tomorrow. Take care of yourself okay?", she said. She's dressed all in white, which was understandable because she's a nurse and worked at the hospital an hour drive away from here.

"Okay mom, just be careful", I said. She gave me a smile before planting a kiss on my forehead, we bid a goodbye to each other. When she finally fades by the distance, I shut the door closed then dropped my bag on the table. I slumped on the couch then closed my eyes. I grabbed the nearest pillow and buried my face on it.

Why me?

After I while I just started blankly at the ceiling. I just wish I could move on, the quick and easy way. That I don't have to feel this pain anymore.
Because any other way around I knew I don't stand a chance.

I decided to watch a movie, but it's all romance and love story which is not what I need right now. Then I saw a plain CD, no tittle, just a boring old CD. After placing it inside the DVD I made my way back to the couch again, I could've made popcorn, but just like I've said I feel dead at the moment.

Then I realized this movie is action packed, I'm fine with action. Watching people in cool cars and motorcycles is making me wonder if one day I could be one too.

I'm halfway through the movie, I realized this is just another love story. I wanted to turn if off but I couldn't, it's like all the energy in my body just left me. Then the guy, which I assumed to be the protagonist kneeled in front of the woman and begged for forgiveness and promised to never get involved in his dangerous job again.