Killing Butterflies - HP

Chapter 11

Harry- I keep hearing a voice lately through the walls and people keep ended up like meduza victims except not turning into stone but just frozen in place it's kind of weird but oh well weird happens around here all the time I guess. I hear a scream, I look up from my food seeing people rushing out of the room and I join seeing Parkinson with a rope around her neck. I acted shocked like all the others and I find someones hands on my arms dragging me from where Parkinson his being hung. I find my self now in an office noticing straight away it's Dumbledore, when I pretend to come out of it I blink looking up and around the room with fake tears rolling down my cheeks

Dumbledore- "Harry do you know anything about this?"

Harry- I shake my head "why do you always ask me? Why do you always indicated it to me when it always isn't sir? Are you out to get me sir?"

Dumbledore- I shake my head looking to Severus, Minnie, Pomona and Filius "no I don't harry"

Harry- "it's Mr Potter to you and yes you so do, the animal being hung and cut all because they did it to me when I total you I would never hurt or kill anyone ever, the stone I didn't bloody take it and now this you always blame me or something, so yes you are out to get me, is it because you want me to be your bloody saviour well I don't give to fucks about that I am trying to live a normal like as a normal twelve year old other than the whole being a bloody wizard part which got me away from my horrid family, so tell me what they fuck is your deal, are you doing all this to make people think I did, are you trying to make my life more of a misery than it already is because, I will walk out those doors right now and never retire, so tell me why are you doing this to me!?"

Dumbledore- "I am not doing anything to you Mr Potter"

Harry- I stand up "don't fucking lie to me old man! I have hand enough of all of this and it's only been two years, so please stop playing your games this is real life not a land of your own imagination, so grow up" I turn and storm out of the room back to the dorm and slamming my room door closed putting my wards up as I hear someone banging on my door I fall asleep just like that not bothering to answer it and can't be arsed with everything now.

When I wake up in the morning noticing I have slept a full day, I get up but stay in my bedroom and get bored so I search around the room I find quite a few things that I didn't  really find before because I didn't really bother looking around before, I found books on the dark arts both potions, charms and spells. I started making potions with my own ingredients, doing reading/research and other things to entertain myself, I stayed like that for a five weeks maybe a little longer than that because I have been losing day sometimes because of sleep more and some because I got too concentrated on something, I don't remember the last time I eat but I can drink perks of having your own room it comes with your own bathroom. I notice I am losing alot of wait more than I had when I was at the Dursley's because there I was starved but only for atleast a week for punishment. People have stopped knocking at me door seeing if I am alright but I just keep quite until they go I know they are putting food outside but I can't trust that if I open it they will come in because truly I want to be left alone especially with having to put up with Dumbledore and his games which I have had enough of, I have been doing my homework by slipping them through the door and someone slipping note and each homework through, I am only to get away from everyone who deems to hurt me because in the end everyone blames me for everything even though I was the one who killed her but every time something happens even though most of the times he blamed someone on me when it was other than the stone, the animals and Parkinson but he would blame me for other things to that weren't even my fault at all but Malfoy, the Weasley twins and others where the one to blame but I know that he knows that they are a fault yet blame me either way, I get if he blames be fore the deaths of Parkinson, the animal and the whole stone thing but the others are I a fucking not on board with and fucking pisses me off even though with the three I did do I make sure I don't get caught to.

Lately I have been wondering if anyone will ever love me for not who I am in the chosen one and boy who lived way but for me way, for who Harry potter is as a person and not as a saviour because I have had enough of that this bullshit I wish I truly could hide in a whole and most of the time die because I am feed up with like and her games I just want to be free and not people trying to control me or form me into this other person of which I am not because why can't I be me but then again me has gotten me into a lot of shit to do with my family and people in my old school but then again back then I didn't kill anyone other than setting a house on fire but I give them all exits that they could escape but they died anyway they could of been alive but they aren't, that was back when I couldn't control my magic and my first killing where a mistake that I couldn't control but now I can and I accept many years ago who I truly was because I am me nothing more or nothing less but I will have no one controlling not even my own self if clones of your true self even if that where a true thing but oh well guess I will be staying here for a while but I don't know until how long that will be for.

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C.W.