Humans Are Encountered

Meditation

Adam wasn't in the laboratory when Zork'ak walked in. Kai, Carrie, Kace and Wren were around Steve talking, and most of the other humans were gone, most likely up on the roof xe turned to leave, but there was a hand on xer extremity. Xe turned around to find Wren standing there, her big eyes looking up at Zork'ak.

"Where are you going?"

"To speak to Adam." Xe pulled xer extremity from her grasp. She noticed, looking at her now empty hand. Xer eyes flicked to where Kace stood, and Wren looked, too.

"It's not," she ran her hand over her hair, "Kace and I aren't anything."

"It does not have an effect on me who you have relations with. I am merely studying your behavior."

Her mouth tugged down, and Zork'ak wanted to take it back. Xe did care, but it felt better to pretend xe didn't. "I thought," she made a small noise in the back of her throat, "I thought we were friends."

Zork'ak looked to Kace again. "I must go." Xe turned around, and Wren did not stop xem this time.

Adam was folded on the floor of his quarters, and xe let xemself into the room, joining him on the ground.

He peeked an eye open. "Hey." His voice was calm, quiet, and his eyes were closed.

Zork'ak closed xer eyes also. "What did he say."

"He freaked out. Pretty much told me he was weirded out being around me now and that he wasn't gay."

"You sound particularly calm."

"I've been meditating, trying to keep from getting upset. I knew it was going to happen, but it still hurt. And then he went in there and told Carrie and Wren. I left. He made it clear he was only interested in me as a decent friend, not even that close."

"Wren tried to talk to me when I left."

"What did she say?"

Zork'ak opened one eye. Adam was still sitting up, his hands resting on his folded extremities. Xe closed xer eyes again. "She told me that she and Kace were not involved."

"Well, that's good. Maybe you could-"

"I told her I was an observer, that I was not affected by her relationships."

"Zor!" Xer eyes flew open to find Adam staring at xem with wide eyes and mouth open. "Why would you do that?"

"I do not wish to partake in this confusion of who cares for who. I am first and foremost a behavioral analyst."

He nodded. "If that is what you want."

"What I want is to be with her, know her best, be able to spend time with her. But I can't. I can't do anything I want, and I am not willing to entertain situationals that will not logically bring a desirable outcome. So I have chosen to cleanse myself of these feelings by no longer giving myself reasons to care for her."

"I understand. Sometimes it's better to walk away then hurt yourself."

"I wish that Steve would have returned your feelings."

Adam inhaled deeply. "It is what it is. Would you like to meditate with me?"

"What is that?"

"It's a method of kind of mentally calming my body and focusing on my body."

"That sounds beneficial to me."

"Great. So I start off by doing what's called a 'scan.' It means I go from my head to my toes slowly focusing on each part of my body and noticing any stiffness or pain. Try it." After Zork'ak finished the process, xe opened xer eyes. "Now I start to count my breath, focusing less on my thoughts and more on my body functions. Then, you can let your mind wander and slowly breath until you feel comfortable to start tensing and releasing your muscles."

Xe went through the secondary process, able to feel xer physiology start to create a much more calming effect on xer mind. When it came to letting xer thoughts flow, though, that hurt and anger came flowing back. Xe quickly moved on, counting xer breath and repeating a scam before completing the ending process.

Adam was waiting when Zork'ak finished. "How do you feel?"

"Very calm. Much more rational."

Adam nodded. "I use meditation a lot when I'm stressed or upset."

Zork'ak thought of how simple this solution was, creating the desired physiological behaviors to produce a better mental and emotional state. "Is this common to handle overpowering emotions?"

"No. Most people don't get it. I think simple breathing and trying to quiet the mind for a while is really good for you, but it's fine. People have opinions. Even if they are not supported by fact."

"I find it a good method. I appreciate the lesson."

He nodded, climbing to his feet. "I don't wish to go to lunch." He pulled containers from his storage box. "Do you want to eat with me. I have some similar but more earth-like food."

"Yes. I would enjoy that."

He sat back down, handing Zork'ak a container. "We need to figure out what's going to happen."

Xe nodded. "Third meal."

"Yes. We'll figure it out at dinner."

Zork'ak had not realized before how Adam and xe were depending on each other through all of this, how if it came to it xe would stick by Adam. Xe hopes this would not affect xer research. The commander still had expectations.