Humans Are Encountered

Monotony

Before Zork'ak met the humans, xe did not concern xemself with 'what ifs' and wants and emotions and questioning 'why.' Xe had been efficient, designing studies specifically to further the Klyls. Xe followed xer schedules, dedicated to what the Commander said.

Now, xe found themself slightly angry and sad at being stuck in a lab, barely able to focus. Shraq was attempting to share a theory with Zork'ak, reading some research that Adam had shared with xem about human body chemicals. Zork'ak found that xe did not wish to hear this research from Shraq; xe wanted to hear about Adam and Kai and Wren's work from them.

Xe couldn't see the humans, though. Xe still risked seeing Adam during xer restorative cycle. The Commander had reassigned xem, though, and if the Commander was aware that Zork'ak had developed emotions and attachments... Well, xe was concerned about the experiments conducted on xemself. Unlike a Klyl, xe did not want research, or any type of attention focused on xem and xer connection with the humans.

"Zork'ak?"

Xe blinked. Shraq had been talking. "Yes?"

"I asked what your theory is. Are you well? Your concentration appears to be functioning at a lower percentage than expected."

"I was simply comparing your theories to my own before responding." Zork'ak could hear a small voice in the back of xer head: Lying does not benefit anyone.

"And your theory is?"

Zork'ak remembered something Adam had once told xem. "Humans have behaviors that we can learn, like emotions, in the same manner of us learning these spices from them. It is simply not something we have been exposed to before"

Shraq looked over xer notes. "You propose we should expose more Klyls to extended human exposure?"

Zork'ak felt a small twang in xer stomach. Xe wanted to be around the humans. "Yes. I believe this will provide further insight."

Shraq nodded, scurrying away to design the perimeters of the experiments. Zork'ak sighed and sat back down at xer desk. Xe pulled up Xrent's, the Klyl that had replaced Zork'ak, notes. Xe found that they could barely read the report without xer focus wavering.

Xe ran xer talons down xer face, sick of the reading and designing and hypothesizing repetitively. Zork'ak never did anything else but read notes and create situations to make more notes. Xe missed, yes missed, doing something, even if it was observing as the humans interacted with each other. Xe jumped up, realizing something that xe could do xemself.

"Knycuz," Zork'ak called as xe walked into the carrier holder.

"Zork'ak." Knycuz climbed out from underneath one of the carriers. "Do you require assistance?"

"I do. If you are available, I need to collect information from you in my office."

"I am able to follow you now." Zork'ak nodded, turning to walk back into the building.

Zork'ak waited until xe had closed the door to xer office before speaking.

"Shraq wanted to expose more Klyls to the humans to see if they develop feelings as a learned behavior instead of a chemical exposure."

"You wish to collect my experiences?"

"Well," Zork'ak perched on the edge of xer desk, "yes. I need that for the report. As you have heard, I was reassigned." Knycuz nodded. "The Commander decided that I was not performing at the appropriate capacity."

"How is this relevant to the new research you are conducting?"

"I don't want to be in the research lab, Knycuz."

"You 'want?'"

"Yes. I want. I want and miss and like and hate and get mad and sad and irritated. I feel, and it's not a bad thing."

"They do not appear to be efficient."

"You know what," Zorka'k pushed up off the desk, "maybe we need to try new behaviors the same way we needed to try new flavor profiles."

"That is a discussion with your analyst team. What is it that you need me to report?"

Zorka'k sighed and sat down, pulling up xer notes.

"It is awful, the same thing constantly. It appears that I make no progress as I continue to repeat the same process with minimal changes. I do not wish to read Xrent's or yours or Wren's notes. I want to be here, to learn, for you to teach me more human things. It's so, so..."

"Frustrating?" Adam was looking at Zork'ak as they both stared up at the atmosphere above them. Zork'ak had grown so restless, so desperate to speak to another being who would understand, that xe decided to risk facing the Commander to see Adam.

"Yes. I believe that would describe how I feel."

"I understand. Sometimes research can be so monotonous."

"'Monotonous?'"

"Yeah. Like the same thing over and over. You start to get so sick of it."

"Yes. I feel this. Adam, how am I to get out of this 'hole' if I do not focus on or desire to partake in the projects I am presented with?"

"I wish I could help, Zor. You have to break the monotony. You have to get interested in things again."

"I'm not interested in analyzing anymore. I am interested in, well, you guys."

Adam's laugh was breathy. "We miss you, too."

"You keep telling me all these things, Adam. 'Get out of the hole,' 'break the monotony;' I don't know how to do any of these things."

Adam shrugged. "Honestly, you don't ever 'know.' You just have to do what feels right. And this monotonous routine? It makes you unhappy? Then change it."

"The Commander assigned me to this project."

"Sometimes even the boss is wrong."

For some reason, Zork'ak didn't argue, even after xer life-long belief that the Commander knew the best course of action to pursue.