Black Hole Sun [Harry Potter/Twilight]

XXXVI : The War Hero

Gwen closed her eyes as she felt herself shaking with the memories of the flashing green and red lights, the screams of people she knew, the look of fear and determination on multiple faces...The feeling of urgency of finding the last Horcruxes....

"Voldemort called for an armistice, so we could claim our dead" Gwen began, as she heard her voice in a lower tone than usual. "We were losing. And we knew it. Even with our allies, Voldemort had too many people on his side. People and species he promised the world to...a world without Muggles. A world where wizards would be at the top of power, no longer hiding, no longer afraid. With Voldemort leading them every step of the way. Voldemort just wanted Harry at this point. He saw this war as a waste of time. He had gained enough support. And he wanted to preserve the magical blood being spilled, of course."

"Of course" Edward said softly.

"We had split up at that point, me and my friends...Hermione and Ron had gone down to the Chamber of Secrets. Harry and I went to find the diadem with Luna. We got split up at one point...I left him...I was helping the castle mobilize...We needed more time. I could give us that. But we were losing...There was a point right before the armistice that I had there were six Death Eaters in front of me. So I ignored the armistice and continued to duel them. I knew they didn't want to...Their master was calling them to retreat. But I didn't care. In my eyes, six less Death Eater the better. I forced them to duel me. And they began to fall, one by one. They were easy targets to stun, I knew I could disarm them easily and keep them out of the battle until it was over. The Death Eaters were unexperienced...They were low level wizards who probably didn't even graduate Hogwarts. Some of them probably weren't even Death Eaters. Just...Just Snatchers."

Gwen felt her head pounding as her mouth went dry, flashes of the red and green lights flashing in her mind as she closed her eyes, trying to steady herself. She could hear the yelling, she could see the fear in their eyes...She remembered feeling the adrenaline pumping through her, the thrill she felt while dueling...

Edward made to reach for her, but stopped himself. Gwen appreciated that. She didn't deserve his comfort. She couldn't even imagine what was going through his head. Maybe he would think she was the monster he thought he was.

"I was too distracted while dueling" Gwen continued, as she felt her voice turn into a hollow tone. "I didn't notice one of the students had came back. He saw I was still fighting. He decided to help me, Colin Creevey...A younger boy, he shouldn't have been there..."

Gwen broke off again, as she remembered the guilt hitting her all at once when they realized they had won the war. When everyone had broken through to touch Harry...To touch the Boy Who Lived...She stayed in place, feeling her heart breaking into pieces as she knew nothing would ever be the same.

There was a silence that grew between Gwen and Edward. As she felt an emptiness in her heart, a shear nothingness that slowly began to take over her soul and threatened to kill her entirely. Hermione was gone...And it was all her fault.

She felt herself grow tired, despite the good amount of hours she had slept. The weight she often held from the guilt rested on her shoulders as she recounted the events of the last battle. There had been a hole in her heart since Cedric had died, only growing larger and larger with every person and magical creature she saw murdered in front of her.

One time she had snarled at Peter Pettigrew that there was no redemption for the rat...So, did her words apply to her as well?

"Gwen, you do not have to continue--"

"I remember I took down three of the Death Eaters easily" Gwen continued, feeling her voice growing stronger as she knew she had to get through this.