Diary of an Angry Husband | Jinkook ✔️

Twenty-Nine

Seokjin's Pov:

Tears streamed down my face as I stared at Jungkook, waiting for his answer to the questions I had; finding out that my husband had a serious illness that could take him away from me and our daughter was the most devastating news I have ever received.

Jungkook looked at me, "it's in the early stage; I see the best in the field, Dr. Choi, who specializes in this. I have done some radiation sessions already. Right now, I do radiation five times per week. It's not as bad as it sounds. I will be fine, don't worry yourself."

I stared at him in disbelief; he wanted me not to worry; how could I not worry? How could I possibly not worry?! My heart breaks to know he had been withholding this information from me. I know things haven't been great between us, but Jungkook is my everything; he is my entire world, I cannot lose him. And now, he wants me not to worry. That's an unfair request.

"You don't get to tell me not to worry, and this is serious, Jungkook; you can die. I can be alone at any time, and our daughter can have one less parent than she has today, so how could I possibly not worry now, and when were you going to tell me? We are in therapy working on our marriage-" I stopped myself from going any further and wiped away my tears. I was getting too emotional, and I knew I would say things that probably wouldn't be good for me to say to him, but I am hurt. He kept this from me. What was he thinking? Did he think I wouldn't care?

Taking a deep breath, I stared at him, making my tone very stern as I spoke, wanting him to know I was serious, "I need every detail on your appointments, I need the detailed records from this Dr. Choi and all other appointments you have going forward. I need to be there. I am your husband. You do not get to decide this without me, I know I have been selfish, and I have done things maybe I shouldn't have, but I can't have you playing Russian roulette with your life when I am going to be left here as a broken spouse with a broken child."

"Seokjin, you don't need-"

"Don't tell me what I need or don't need, you do not think for me, I think for myself and what you have done hiding this from me is not okay Jungkook, it's not okay. You are selfish!" I screamed at him; how could he think this was okay? I have been accusing him, and I have been thinking all the wrong things while he is in pain. He is suffering without my knowing; how could he keep this from me?

"What if something had happened to you? What if you had one day gone to work and not come home or gone to sleep and not wake up. How would I explain to our daughter that you died of something I didn't even know you had? How would I cope with that Jungkook? Did you think of any of this while playing hide and seek with an illness?"

I'm sorry, but I couldn't stop talking. I was upset, hurt, worried, and scared. I didn't know what this meant, and I felt like I failed him. How little did I know? I am sure he hid from me that he was sick because he believed I wouldn't care and that hurts me. After all, no matter what, I do care. I care about my husband; I love him.

Taking a seat on the bed and pulling me into his lap, Jungkook said, "Seokjin, I am sorry. I was not intentionally hiding things from you when I found out, things were already starting to go downhill between us, and we separated. I didn't want the changing of your mind concerning our marriage because of my illness, and considering it's at the early stage, I figured I could work through it while we work on our marriage, but now hearing you and seeing how hurt and betrayed you feel, I took the wrong approach, and you are right, I was selfish and inconsiderate of how this could impact you and Ae Ri."

As the tears continued to flow, I couldn't understand why everything around me was so bleak. Nothing was holding up, and I had no idea what to do. I leaned my head against his chest without being able to say anything; I wish I could rewind our life some years and undo a lot of things that have caused us to be where we are now.