Diary of an Angry Husband | Jinkook ✔️

Thirty- Four

The assessment results Dr. Chye had given him remained in Jin's sight; forcing the tablet aside, he shook his head in confusion "so you are saying I am on the high end of workaholism and that my family is suffering because of this?"

"Those are not my words; those are the findings of your assessment. How do you feel seeing the results?"

Seeing the tablet, Jin glanced back at Dr. Chye and replied, "I do not believe I am a workaholic, that's a bit much for me, but I realize that I am dedicated to my company, and I certainly should be. In my opinion, this was not a fair assessment because it didn't consider the demands of my job. Honestly, I don't think anyone understands that; I think I get rated or judged on things that aren't understood in a similar way to this assessment. My workload is heavy; I stay late because I have no choice, not because I want to. An assessment cannot discern that my husband cannot see that; even you can't discern that.

After work, do you really think I jump on my laptop just because I want to? If not, who is going to answer that 3 AM email that requires a response? Would you be surprised to know that not everyone works in the same time zone as me? Would you be surprised to know that they expect a response to their email in real-time? It's how the business works; it's not about me, it's not about anyone else. It's about how I deliver, execute, and achieve results; it's what drives revenues and keeps the company that my father worked so hard to build going.

After all the blood, sweat, and tears I shed every day, do you think I will believe a twenty-five-question test that says I work too hard? Those are the things everyone wants me to believe, but it's not true. I know who I am, and I am not a workaholic."

The outburst from Seokjin was as she had expected; Dr. Chye leaned back in her chair as she listened to it. From her previous conversations with him and her observations, she knew that he was not going to accept the results well, which was fine for her since that is why she was there with him.

"I understand that this result may have been too overwhelming for you, and you're right; the assessment does not account for your role or your responsibilities. So, why don't we talk through some of these questions and why you rated yourself the way you did. Hopefully, if we address these in more detail, some misunderstandings can be relieved, and we can narrow down the findings and best approach. In addition, I am here as a resource to assist and support you. During this process, I consider your success my success, and I am certain that your family will appreciate whatever we achieve. In that spirit, I would like to invite you to let's proceed with an open mind and not consider how someone else might be thinking of you. What do you think about that?"

Nodding, Jin sighed, leaning back into his seat, "sure, we can do that."

"Perfect. Okay, let's get right to this question: It is hard for me to relax when I am not working. I see that you rated this as always. Do you understand why you rated it as always?"

Jin began shaking his leg as he stared at the table that separated him and Dr. Chye, "I have a lot of work to do, so it's hard for me not to think about it."

"How about elaborating on that a little more?"

Jin sighed again, irritated at Dr. Chye. "I am the only one in my company who holds the position I do. I am responsible for a lot. There can be no delays. Keeping track of what's happening at all times is important, and I'm not too fond of unanswered emails. Not knowing what's going on bothers me. Not being able to respond to an email bothers me. Nine out of ten times, those emails are key ones. My approval is essential for many things; without it, things can't happen, and in case I am away from work or checking my phone, things can get delayed. That's revenue out the door; I cannot afford that. Because of my work ethic, the company continues to be in such a good status after my father handed it to me. His goal was always to maintain the company above that, which I have done.

I love what I do, and when I am not doing what I love, I get anxious, I miss it, and I, yeah, that's all." Jin stopped talking, not wanting to say anymore.

"Thank you for sharing that. Given your high level of responsibility, have you ever considered creating a structure that will allow you to share that high level of responsibility with others? "

"Are you suggesting I am not able to handle these responsibilities on my own?"

The doctor shook her head, "that's not what I'm suggesting; what I'm suggesting is that while you can handle these responsibilities on your own, it isn't something you should do on your own. You could, for example, create a structure in your company and appoint employees you trust to govern certain functions so that your daily responsibilities are lessened. This will allow you time off, which you need, as you noted in our last conversation: you are expecting, and you wanted some time off, but your friend Jimin has decided to take a sabbatical, and now you are unable to take time off.

Consequently, I am suggesting that maybe you have worked so hard all by yourself that you haven't given any thought to maybe building a team that can lessen some of your responsibilities, which would benefit both you and those around you. You mentioned that you value your employees, possibly promoting some of them to take on more responsibilities and even hiring more employees, which would be beneficial to them and their families, is something that you could consider.

It would allow you to take time off as well, without feeling guilty, and not have to rely on Jimin, who may have reached burnout and why he needed a break. As much as it might hurt you to think of yourself as a workaholic, you are a workaholic. From our conversations, I observe and have observed that your lifestyle and work habits are that of a workaholic. You don't have to feel uncomfortable, it's better to know what you are dealing with, and that is why I want to help you, so things don't get worse than they are now. This way you do not lose touch with your family. Many people like you have been affected by this."

Jin's eyes welled with tears, and Dr. Chye handed him napkins, "I don't know how to do anything else besides work, I know you are right, I know my husband is right, but I can't seem to turn my back on work. Every time I hear everyone tell me that I'm working too much, I get incredibly angry. This infuriates me, so I instantly think, They don't understand why I work so hard, so they are judging me without any knowledge of the reasons."

"This is good; you are acknowledging something here, but you also said something very important, and it's that we don't understand. Want to try telling me, why do you work so hard? I want to understand."

Keeping his eyes closed, Jin wiped away tears as he said, "I don't know whether I can explain it, or even if I do, you will understand it."

*********

Jungkook was surprised when he got home to find Jin and Ae Ri in the kitchen laughing together.

"You are home?"

"Daddy, guess what?" Ae Ri ran over to him, jumping into his arms as he tried his best and picked her up, kissing her on the cheek, "you got selected in your school play?"

Ae Ri giggled and nodded her head, "I did, but that's not all. Uncle Tae didn't pick me up today, Appa picked me up, and we went to the mall together, then Appa took me to the supermarket with him, and we bought stuff to make you dinner, and now we are making dinner; for you."

Jungkook's eyes widened, and he glanced towards Jin, who was looking down at the cutting board as he cut up some vegetables. "Wow, sounds like you had a fun afternoon with Appa. What are you and Appa making me for dinner?"

"We had a fun time, right, Appa?"

Jin looked up, meeting Ae Ri's eyes, and smiled, "we did."

With another kiss on the cheek, Jungkook puts his daughter down; then he walks over to Jin, whose facial expression tells him a million things. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he whispers, "Are you okay?"

Jin responded, relaxing into his embrace as he fought back the tears. "Did you know I'm a workaholic?" he asked.