Diary of an Angry Husband | Jinkook ✔️

Forty

Seokjin's Pov:

The sweet scent of Nam-il's hands filled my nostrils as he cupped them around my face, while he kissed my nose repeatedly before pulling back and laughing as he sat in my arms, made me smile brightly. My gaze was fixed on my husband and daughter, who were discussing which ingredient to put first in the cake they were making for my birthday.

I knew Ae Ri was right, and Jungkook was wrong, but I did not dare interfere with them, as I knew they would eventually resolve the matter between themselves.

"I have made it with Appa before; I know what I am doing. Can you please listen?" I hear Ae Ri say to her father and press my lips together to avoid laughing, shifting my gaze to Nam-il, "aren't you happy you are not a part of that?"

As he pulls back and claps his hands, he smiles and gives me another kiss, followed by another happy giggle. He was the sweetest, most angelic baby I have ever known, not just because he was my son. It's possible Ae Ri was like that as well, and maybe that was what made her and Jungkook so close. Even though our bond has grown stronger now, and she knows I'm fully invested in her now, knowing that what I've experienced with Nam-il I never took time to experience with her, makes me sad. I've realized recently how much I neglected my family and how much I missed out on their important moments.

I felt guilty at times, especially towards Ae Ri. Looking back, I see now how much she must have needed me when she was younger, but I wasn't there. Instead, my husband was responsible for all her needs. It seemed as if just being in the same home as them, telling her how much I loved her, and giving her things would be enough - I didn't realize she and my husband needed so much more.

In my career-centered life, every other area of my life was falling apart, and I threw so much on Jungkook that I had the expectation that he should understand; he was my husband, I thought he should understand. There have been a million times when I justified my problem, and most of the time, I felt I was right, and he was wrong. I could not grasp his views, and he couldn't grasp mine, yet the truth is I had an issue. Our entire marriage, he has been consistent, he has never done anything differently, he has always been to me what he has always been, my rock, my confidant, the ideal partner who would never let me down.

No, not me. I changed, and I changed, I reshaped and recharged in so many different ways, forcing him to keep up at times. It took a near-death experience for me to realize how selfish I had been and how fragile life can be at the same time. My love for my career, the company, the work I do almost cost me my life, my son's life, and another person's life. There was a very serious problem. I didn't believe I could ever fully embrace it and recognize it until I fought to live because of it.

Ae Ri had to live months in wonder if her Appa was going to survive, Jungkook had to live months wondering if his husband was going to survive while struggling with cancer. In addition to my suffering, my parents were also struggling. My father, experiencing guilt, stepped up and was able to be my father when I needed him most. As I witnessed the impact on the people around me, I promised myself before leaving the hospital that if I was given a second chance, I would do things right.

Even on my worst days, I was never alone because I had so much support to get me through. In addition to my family, Jimin visited daily, never leaving my side, and comforted Jungkook when needed. Taehyung and Hoseok welcomed Ae Ri and Nam-il into their homes during Jungkook's stay with me at the hospital, keeping them there for several days. Sometimes, Yoongi cooked and provided meals for Jungkook, Jimin, and my parents after being with me at the hospital late at night.

I am so grateful for all of them, especially my husband. I don't know how I am so lucky to have met someone like him. I wonder if he is real every time I look at him because I don't think there are any other people like him. I have learned so much from him, and because of him, I strive to be a better person. Despite not quitting being the CEO of the company, I did change a lot. Work is something I love, and I am passionate about what I do, so I couldn't let it go, and I don't think I should.