A New Chance To Live

29

Warnings:
-Mentions self harm
-Heartbroken

Clay's POV

I was asleep when Sapnap came back and woke up an hour later in my sister's room. She was sitting on her chair whilst reading a book and I looked up at her slowly.

'Hey, how are you? Sapnap is downstairs.'

'I'm okay,' I whispered, lifting myself up. 'How long did I sleep for?'

'Two hours, I think.'

'I'm so sorry, did I bother you?'

'No, not at all. I've done my homework and then I started reading.'

I smiled shortly and sat up. 'Where is Sap?'

'Downstairs.'

I nodded and stood up slowly. I walked to my sister and gave her a hug to let her know I appreciated her. She hugged me back and smiled at me after it. 'It's going to be okay, I promise you.'

'Thank you,' I whispered as I walked to her door. After opening it, I went downstairs and saw Sapnap sitting on the couch.

'Hi,' I muttered. My voice was hoarse because of all the screaming and crying. I was still exhausted even after sleeping for two hours.

With a soft sigh, I sat down next to Sapnap and looked at him. 'And?'

He shrugged. 'He didn't want to listen.'

I nodded slowly and looked at my hands, while I tried my hardest not to cry. Sapnap grabbed my hand and soon a tear rolled down my face, falling onto Sapnap's hand.

'I knew I shouldn't have had hope, but I just wished for it to be alright,' I whispered. 'Sapnap, I didn't do this to him. You believe me, right?'

'Of course I believe you. I know you would never do such a thing.'

'But do you actually believe me?' I lifted myself up to look at him. 'I would never do that, Sapnap. I would never hurt him. He didn't get you to believe his side, right? Are you leaving me too?'

'Calm down, Clay. I believe you and I know it's not true. Next to that, I'd never leave you. You are genuinely the best friend that has ever existed.'

I rested my head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around mine.

'If he is not willing to listen, he's not worth it,' Sapnap said. 'A friend is supposed to listen to your explanations.'

Sapnap just held me tight and stayed with me for the rest of the day. I went to school with Sapnap the next day and we sat down on a bench close to our classroom. I was sitting back against the wall and played with the cuffs of my hoodie.

It was pretty hot outside, but yet I was wearing a hoodie to hide the countless cuts on my arms. I had the palest face in ages and my bags were so big that I looked like a ghost risen from the dead.

I was just staring until I heard footsteps and I looked up, feeling my heart skip a beat as I suddenly saw George in front of me. He didn't notice me at first and then looked to his side, seeing me and Sapnap sit down.

'Uh-,' he whispered.

I stood up, but didn't really know what to do nor say. I decided to apologise since that would maybe help anything.

'I'm sorry, George,' I muttered. My voice cracked and I stared at my hands awkwardly.

'For lying and talking shit?'

'I didn't,' I whispered quietly. I almost started crying again and pouted out of sadness.

George noticed that I got really emotional and didn't say anything anymore. I sat back down next to Sapnap and lifted my knees up to hide a tear that rolled down.

'Are you crying?' George muttered.

'N-no,' I whispered. 'I'm f-fine.'

I stood up and wanted to run away, but George grabbed my shoulder. He looked at me shortly and I stared at my hands, hating myself for still wishing that he'd be my friend again, even after what he said to me.

'Do you still love me?' he asked me.

I looked at him for a second and then gave him a small nod, staring back at my hands.

'I just need time,' he muttered.

'But you've had a week already,' I whispered.

'But you betrayed me.'

'I didn't betray you,' I tried to say, but each time I tried to defend myself, my voice seemed to get weaker.

'George, he didn't lie to you or betray you,' Sapnap said. 'Just listen to me for one time, okay? He was friends with that guy when he was fifteen and he used Clay. That was it. He used him for his own popularity. Show me the video, I can tell you that it's a fake video.'

George slowly grabbed his phone and looked up the video. 'I got multiple videos, I got one yesterday too. He said that Clay and him saw each other yesterday.'

'I was with him the whole day yesterday,' Sapnap said. 'What videos did you get?'

'All different videos of Clay talking badly about me. There's more and more mean videos, different days too.'

He showed us the videos and I felt my face heat up when I saw the videos about me saying mean and ridiculous stuff. I didn't know how he edited this, but it looked so real... It made me so upset that I glanced down as I pushed the phone away.

Sapnap looked at my sleeves shortly and then at the videos. 'They can't be recent. I'm not a snitch, so I'm not telling you why they can't.'

George put his phone away again and looked at me. 'You'll need to have a really good explanation for me to ever believe you, but I'm afraid you don't have one.'

'I do-,' I started, but he turned around.

'I don't want to talk to you,' he muttered.

'Why don't you just believe that they are fake?' I whispered. 'You knew I had crazy exes and whatever, right? Why would you not just trust me that they are fake?'

'Because you have no proof that they are.'

'But I am- was your friend. Do you actually trust this toxic guy over your friend?'

'Ex-friend.'

I couldn't deal with it anymore and then ran off to go to the bathroom while crying my eyes out. I really didn't know how I would ever find happiness again.

1035 words