Chagara - Chaos in the Darkness (Levi x OC Fanfic / AttackOnTitan)

17. One of my secret weapons

Screams. Loud screams. But from whom? Who was screaming? Levi opened his eyes immediately and held his arm protectively in front of his face in the next moment. The first sun rays blinded him. It had not been Chagara's back, but only the back of his armchair that he felt. Disappointed, he closed his eyes again and listened to his racing heart. It had been him again. He had screamed like that. Ever since they had returned, this recurring nightmare had plagued him.

He was back in the snowstorm, picking himself up from the cold and hard ground, and shortly afterwards felt Chagara's back. They escaped together, but a moment later he was alone. He searched for her in the snow chaos. Cried out her name incessantly. With no success. Suddenly he stumbled, swallowing the cold snow, and as he picked himself up, coughing and gasping, he noticed her. She was lying next to him. Her eyes were wide open. Blood dripped from her mouth. Her body was torn apart. Powerless, he sank to his knees and began to scream. Until he always woke up.

Levi took a deep breath, got up, went to his bathroom and washed the sweat from his forehead. It had been going on for eight days. Next he would go to the stable and look for her horse stall. Was it still empty? Levi gagged. With each passing day, his hope of seeing her again decreased. When he thought of their last conversation, the stomach acid burst out of him. Why had he thrown all that shit at her?

He had been born in the underworld, he had been a criminal and now as a member of the Scout Regiment, his life had finally gained a meaningful structure - possibly only of short duration. But he had Erwin to thank for that. And then suddenly Chagara came along. And him? He could deal with thugs, with titans, but not with Chagara. With each meeting she had thrown his dark world more into chaos. Levi couldn't handle all these feelings. He seemed to like her. But then what did one do? And what did one do in this shitty world? Especially when they were both part of the Scout Regiment? Was he supposed to throw up every day because he was afraid of losing her? Or... had he already lost her?

"They have other trainings. They were trained specifically for this shit," he muttered to himself prayerfully - as he had so often in the past few days - and hung up his used towel.

How was she doing? Did she have enough food? At least the snow was as good as gone. Four days ago, the temperatures had finally risen. Levi listened at the open door. No one seemed to be lingering in the corridor. For eight days he had tried his best to avoid everyone. But especially Erwin and Peter. He had no idea how to behave towards them. Whenever he saw Peter or had to be with him in the commander's room, he wanted to punch Erwin's cousin. Why had he sent Chagara away? Why her of all people? And it was no better with Erwin. Did he like Chagara? Why couldn't he just ask the commander? Because he didn't want to hear the answer. Because he was afraid of it.

As he stepped outside, he saw a larger group coming out of the training forest in the distance. It had to be Peter's soldiers. Had they been training at night again? Were they moving around outside the walls at night and sleeping during the day? "Probably," Levi thought. "I wonder what you're doing right now."

He took one last look at the returning soldiers and finally entered the stable. "We know that Titans don't have a digestive tract, thanks to them. They looked it up," Erwin had said. Levi had been studying Peter's team for the past few days. The majority of them were of huge stature. Not much shorter than Erwin and almost as tall as Mike. So who had climbed down the neck of a titan? It could only be Chagara. So she had to have been around longer. And therefore she had to be older than she looked.

Why was he looking through a mist into the empty horse stall? Levi wiped his eyes and stared at the name tag - "Apple". Levi shook his head. "You really are an idiot, Chagara. That's no name for a horse," he muttered sadly to himself and entered the stall. "Actually, you're a huge idiot. Why do you do such a shitty job, Chagara?" He leaned against the wooden wall and stared into the straw. "Can't you come back already? I'll give you all my uniforms and buy you chocolate. And I won't lie any more. Or yell at you. And never hurt you again."