Left With Liam

Chapter 3

Liam

I wake to the smell of sausage, bacon, and eggs flowing throw the apartment. The moment the aroma hits my nose, my mouth starts to water. As my eyes peel open, I hear soft chatter and giggling coming from the kitchen.

Yep, Tay and T.J. are up.

Since T.J. moved in, waking up like this has become a regular occurrence. He and Tay will wake up once or twice a week and cook everyone breakfast- all while flirting and whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears.

I'm happy for the two of them. They deserve it after everything they went through last season- T.J.'s brush with death, waiting through the recovery period to see if he'd ever get to play again, and dealing with the detectives involved in Max's court case to make sure the psycho got what he deserved.

Yeah, I'd say the two of them have earned an infinite number of moments like this after all the shit they've been through. The only thing is, seeing them so happy makes me realize what I'm missing out on. Also, it can be nauseating sometimes. I walked into the kitchen once, and they were two seconds from defiling our island. As soon as they saw me, they put the brakes on fast, but I'd already seen too much.

It was a week before I could look either of them in the eyes after that. It's not that I'm bothered by their intimacy- hell, I hear it often enough- it's just seeing them so cozy and passionate all the time makes me yearn for that myself. And now that Mel is living with us, it's hard not to think of the two of us in those kinds of situations.

My only problem? As soon as those thoughts enter my head, I start to feel guilty, and I immediately see Justin's face.

How could I do that to him? Is there really no one else out there that I can see myself with?

As soon as the question pops into my head, I already know the answer.

No.

Ever since she came back, the feelings I thought I may have had in college came rushing forward at full force. Now, I can't ignore them. No matter how hard I try. It's been nearly a year since she moved in, and my predicament has only gotten harder.

When she came for a visit, we talked- a lot. We got reacquainted. She had some shocking questions for me. She thought I hated her in college. She assumed that my distancing myself when she'd come around meant I couldn't stand her. If she only knew!

When she asked me about it, I didn't tell her the whole truth, just that she was wrong in her assumption. I couldn't tell her about everything I was warring with back then- and now- not yet anyway. That revelation would probably be too much for her to hear.

My confession would probably send her reeling. It's obvious she's still holding on to Justin. Not that I blame her at all; he was the love of her life. Still, having her back here, living in the same space as me- I don't know how long I'll be able to hold myself back from acting on these feelings.

I'd never pressure her into anything, and I've reigned in my actions, holding myself back from doing what I long to do. When we'd all go out dancing or to the karaoke bar, I'd stay close to her, but I wouldn't cross any lines. We'd dance together or sing a duet, but it was always more playful than flirty. I made sure of that.

I made sure I was there for her. If Mel needed a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to vent to, I was always there. I wanted to be close to her, but I couldn't risk scaring her off. If I did that, I'd risk losing her forever. I don't know what I'd do if that happened. Her sister lives in the city, so if I screw things up, she could just pack her bags one night and leave. That's something I can't risk.

I throw back the covers and step out of bed, grabbing a shirt from my closet. As I go to pull the shirt over my head, a thought crosses my mind. Maybe I should skip the shirt today.

This summer, the boys and I have been keeping ourselves occupied by staying fit and racking up hours by the pool. Thanks to that, my muscular torso is nice and bronzed. Yeah, I'll skip the shirt and give Mel a free show. It may not be enough to entice her into anything, but at least I can say I tested the waters.

I open my door and make my way to the kitchen. Mel is already there, talking with Tay and T.J. She doesn't see me as I walk in, not until Tay acknowledges me.

"Well, look who finally decided to join the land of the living." Taylor sends me a smile.

The look behind her eyes as she takes in my appearance tells me she knows what I'm up to. I don't usually make a habit of walking around shirtless- at least, not since Mel moved in. Tay's seen me shirtless enough working out, it doesn't faze her, and T.J. sees more than this in the locker room. I started wearing more clothes around the apartment when Mel moved in out of respect. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but since I'm feeling bold this morning, I thought, what the hell!

If she seems the least bit upset by my appearance, I'll take this as a failed experiment and go right back to being fully clothed at all times in her presence. On the other hand, if I notice any different type of reaction from her, I may just have to reevaluate my decision to keep distance between the two of us.

T.J. turns his head, mumbling a quick good morning before turning his attention right back to Taylor. God, he's such a suck for her.

I chuckle at the changes Tay's brought out in him, "Morning, everyone!"

Mel is smiling as she turns in her seat to face me. The moment her eyes land on me, her smile falters. She fixes her expression quickly, but not before I notice a hint of something creep into her gaze.

Was that... longing?

I shake the thought from my head as she opens her mouth to speak. "Morning, Liam." Her smile is back in place, though, it seems almost shy now.

My lips widen as pink creeps slowly into her cheeks. "Hey, Mel."

My attention is drawn away from her as Taylor asks, "You want some breakfast?"

I nod before turning my eyes back to Mel. She turns away quickly, but not soon enough to hide the way her eyes were just dragging up and down my bare chest and abdomen.

Shit, maybe I should have tried this sooner! She was just checking me out! Wasn't she?

I let out a silent laugh as my bottom lip curls into my mouth autonomously. I look back toward Tay and T.J. only to find Tay smirking at me.

I know that look. She must have seen the whole exchange between Mel and me.

Shit!

I thought I was safe from her prying eyes with T.J. clinging to her as if she'd disappear at any second. Guess I was wrong.

Just as I start to feel ashamed of my actions, Tay's face softens. Then she looks me straight in the eyes and nods softly, telling me silently that it's okay. Her look tells me all I need right now- that it's alright to feel this way, that I'm not a horrible person for wanting Mel. And most importantly, that Justin would be happy for us.

That's all the encouragement I need.