Left With Liam

Chapter 31

Mel

My heart was dangerously close to beating out of my chest as we pulled up to the cemetery. Looking out the window at all of the grave markers, I felt immense sadness.

I squeezed Tay's hand so hard that I was surprised I didn't break something. "Tay, I don't know if I can do this," I said through teary eyes as the waterworks began again.

She gently brushed the streams from my cheeks and gave me an encouraging smile. "You can, Mel. I know it's hard, but I'll be right there with you the whole time."

I glanced back out the window, reminding myself what this day was all about, telling myself that it was time. Air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath in and out. Then another. Then another.

When my wave of anxiety subsided, I nodded to myself. I can do this.

I turned to Taylor, who was still patiently waiting beside me. "Okay. I think I'm ready."

We stepped out of the car, and Tay led us toward the plot where Justin was laid to rest. The closer we got, the heavier my feet felt. It was like walking through quicksand as my body felt the weight of what I had to do.

It had been years since I last visited this place. So many that the once empty graves near Justin's were nearly all filled. It's a sad reality- no matter who you are, you can't beat death, at least not forever. Morbid thoughts started entering my mind as we walked on.

I shook them off as I realized where we were- how close we'd come to Justin's grave.

Two more rows. Two more rows of stones, and we'll be at Justin's grave. My legs started moving slower, trying to prolong the inevitable. The longer it took to get there, the more time I had to figure out what I wanted to say- what I needed to say.

One more row. I still had no clue what words I would speak. Would I be able to speak at all? Would this whole thing be a bust? What if all I did was cry the entire time?

A few steps away...

My eyes grew wet.

One more step...

The tears started falling.

We stopped.

Through blurry eyes, I could see the outline of Justin's headstone. I dropped Taylor's hand and furiously wiped away the tears.

I could see a bit more clearly. Tay stayed close by as I stared at the stone in front of me. I studied it, noting every scratch and chip on the surface caused by years of weathering.

Even with the blemishes, his grave marker still looked as shiny as it did in the beginning. A thought fluttered into my mind, making me smile ever-so-slightly. It's as though mother nature knew that Justin shined. She wouldn't weather his stone as she did others because his people needed that reminder.

I needed that reminder.

That's just who he was- a bright light on a gloomy day, a smiling face when everything was going so wrong, an encouraging word when you felt like giving up. He was all of those and more.

He was my everything.

I closed my eyes, knowing what I wanted to do. I sat in the grass in front of his name, brushing the letters as I moved. When I looked at Tay, she had tears in her eyes.

I took a shaky breath in, hoping the words would come. "Can you give me a moment?" My words were little more than a whisper, nearly blending into the silence surrounding us.

She nodded. "I'll just be over by that tree if you need me."

I watched her go, making her way swiftly to the tree several rows away. It was far enough that I knew she wouldn't hear me but close enough that she could still see if I waved her over.