Left With Liam

Chapter 24

Mel

I feel like I'm floating- like everything is in slow motion, and I'm just breezing through on a cloud of air. That's how I usually feel when I'm out here in the rink, skating to my heart's desire, no routine to practice, no lessons left for the day- just me and the ice.

Except, it feels even more light and airy than usual. Since we got back from Aruba, everything feels lighter. Liam and I finally kissed- multiple times- and now it's like a part of me that was cold and dormant is now very much awake and alive.

We still haven't talked about it- what it all means, what we are- but I know we need to. I think we keep putting it off because once we talk about it, everything becomes real. It's no longer a carefree dream where everything is perfect, and nothing can go wrong.

The second we acknowledge it, we open ourselves up to a whole world of possibilities. The scariest of which- if things go bad, we could both end up hurt. That's the thing I fear the most about having that talk. I've experienced enough hurt for one lifetime. I don't think I could take anymore.

The way things are right now- with the stolen kisses and continuous flirting- is perfect. Right now, I'm just enjoying my time with him. I'm enjoying every shared look, every conversation, every surge of desire.

I just hope all of that continues once we have the talk. I don't want what we have to be shattered once we talk about it, once we label it.

I push the negative thoughts out of my head and just let myself go. My feet take on a mind of their own as I glide across the ice, spinning and spiraling as the cool air around me nips at my neck.

Out here, I'm free.

I remind myself of that as I let all the good memories of the last few days seep into my soul. As I do, the memories combined with the freedom I feel floating across the ice blend together, warming my heart. Just a taste of that makes a huge smile spread over my lips.

Then, I let myself go, let myself feel that warmth as I skate to the music in my head.

~

When I got home that night, Liam seemed... Off. He still greeted me with a delicious smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. It felt like he was worried about something- like something was weighing heavy on his mind... Or his heart.

I was worried about him.

Was this when the next shoe would drop? Could it really be happening this soon?

After dinner, I asked him if he was okay. He told me he was fine- that something Chase said at lunch just got to him. He told me not to worry- that it would pass and he'd be back to normal.

I wasn't convinced. Especially when he told me goodnight later, barely touching my lips as he gave me a quick peck before disappearing to his room.

~

Two nights later, it was as if that worrisome night had never happened. Liam was back to his normal, bubbly, affectionate self.

I didn't pry. I didn't ask what it was that had him so torn up. To be honest, I'm not sure I wanted to know- not if it made him that distant so quickly. So, I pushed it to the back of my mind and planned to leave it there.

When Tay and T.J. went to bed, Liam walked me to our side of the apartment, pausing in front of my door, looking like he wanted to ask me something but was hesitant.

I squeezed his hand, studying his face as we stood there. "Hey. What's up? You look... I don't know... Like something's bothering you..."

He gave me a sympathetic look as his mouth curled up vaguely on one side. "I, uh... I wanted to ask you something, but I don't want to seem too eager to get you alone in one of our bedrooms."

I laughed lightly, now very aware of his want for privacy for whatever he was going to ask me. I lifted my chin, pointing it toward his door as I grabbed his hand, pulling him in that direction.

Once inside, we shut the door behind us before taking a seat on the side of his bed.

"So, what did you want to ask me?" My words were slow and cautious, almost as if he'd spook if they came out wrong.

Liam licked his lips before replying, "Well, I wanted to ask you on a date. A real date... But that's not all."

He paused as if scared to say his next words. He cleared his throat before continuing, "We haven't talked about what's going on between us yet. I think maybe we should."

Oh boy, here it is...

I felt a hint of dread creep into my stomach as I realized it was time. We had to have the talk.

Did he want to label this? Did I? Was I ready for that? Would I ever be?

All these thoughts ran through my head as Liam watched me patiently, waiting for my blessing to start the discussion we'd been putting off since we got back. I didn't trust my voice, so I simply nodded, giving him the go-ahead.

He seemed relieved as he pulled my hand in his and spoke again. "I don't know what to call it. I don't know if there's even a word for it, but I have feelings for you, Mel. Feelings that are more than friendly. And I've had them for a good amount of time now."

I stayed silent, watching him through clear eyes. His mouth curled up at a thought running through his head. "It's not just physical for me. I need you to know that. I just, I need you to know that what I feel for you is real, and it seems to grow each day we have together."

My heart is thundering in my chest, but my words are stuck in my throat.

Liam bites his lip nervously. "We don't have to use labels. We don't even have to tell anyone if you don't want to. I just need you to know how I feel and that I want to be with you in any capacity that you'll have me."

The sincerity in his voice melts my heart, and sparks fly through me. "I like you too, Liam. More than a friend. I don't know how deep that runs yet or what it means, but I want to keep spending time with you- holding hands, talking, cuddling, kissing..."

I bring my eyes to his. "I'm not sure what to label us, or if I'm even ready to, but I do know that I want to keep whatever it is going. I'm not ready to give it up yet."

His head bobs in understanding. "We don't have to label it. We can just keep doing what we've been doing and decide more along the way."

His words, those perfect words, hit me like a warm summer breeze. The dread I felt earlier was suddenly gone as his words washed over me.

A genuine smile appears on my face as I tell him, "I think that's perfect. No rush."

"No rush," Liam repeats as he leans closer to me.

His eyes are fixed on my lips, slowly closing the gap as he slides one hand to my neck. Without hesitation, I lean forward, erasing the space between us, pressing my lips to his.

The kiss is slow and heated. By the time we separate, it feels like hours have passed. Liam pulls back, his eyes drifting over every part of my face before he tells me, "You are so beautiful."

My cheeks blaze as I shyly look away. Before I lose my nerve, I ask, "Can I stay with you tonight?"

Without saying a word, he pulls back the covers, settling in before opening his arms to me in invitation. I turn off the lamp on his bedside table. Then, slide next to him under the sheets, curling up against his side, into his warmth as his arm wraps around me.