Returned to Sender - Scarlett Johansson

Part 23

Sawyer's POV

So Mama didn't let us go and explore at all this week.

Neither of us let go of the other all day. In fact, we didn't even leave the apartment, spending most of the days in our pyjamas, only moving when Mama insisted we eat something. Although she fussed for an hour, triple checking my meal was nut-free before letting me eat, which was an interesting experience. We did manage to get although a good chunk of the movies on my list, though, as we stayed cuddled up on the sofa. I know Mama was scared when I had my reaction to nuts; I could feel her looking at my chest every so often to check I was breathing, so I understood why she wanted me close all day. Plus, I had that awful nightmare about fake Daddy and Copper hurting Mama again, so I tried to stay as close as possible to her anyway. Not to mention cuddles with Mama are the best thing ever.

As usual, I woke up with a jump, images of yet another nightmare lingering behind my eyes as I sat up, looking for Mama frantically.

However, unlike usual, Mama was not in bed as I looked for my reminder that I was free. When I couldn't see her, I could feel myself panicking, my eyes flickering around the room rapidly as if that would make Mama appear. The more I looked and the less I found. I could feel my chest tighten, and tears started to fall down my cheeks.

"MAMA", I called out in a last-ditch attempt to find her as my breathing became difficult. I was painfully aware of the lack of air making it into my lungs, which furthered my panic as I remembered the events of Sunday evening. It's impossible that I am having an allergic reaction right now, right? I haven't eaten anything yet this morning, let alone nuts. So why can't I breathe? I tried my best to calm myself down; there was no way Mama had left me. Mama would never leave me, right? I am just overreacting if I could just get my body to move, I'm sure I could find her. The logical part of me knew Mama must be in the bathroom or downstairs, but right now, the panic was blinding me, and I couldn't even think rationally like that.

I was wheezing at this point when the door was flung over. Mama ran straight over to me and scooped me up, pulling me into her chest.

"Baby? What's wrong? You need to breathe for Mama; listen to my heartbeat, princess. You're ok. I'm ok. Everyone's ok," she cooed, rocking us back and forth as she pressed my head into her chest. I could hear the soft thumping of her heart and the comforting smell of coconut surrounding me as we swayed.

The panic slowly eased off of my chest as my breaths became less laboured.

After about ten minutes, I could breathe normally again, and my tears had stopped. "Mama?" I muttered weakly, feeling drained already from what just happened. "Yes, baby?" She asked, running her fingers through my hair as she soothed me. "You're not going to leave me, right?" I asked hesitantly, scared of her answer. No one has ever cared for me like Mama does. Mummy kind of did, but she's gone now. I don't want Mama to go too.

"Never, princess. You, my beautiful baby girl, are stuck with me for the rest of our lives," she said softly, looking straight into my eyes as she said it, knowing I would want to search her eyes for the truth. Flickering my eyes between hers, I could see no hint of a lie, and she had given me no reason to distrust her in the last month, so I believed her. "Good, because I don't want you to leave. I need you," I mumble before moving my head to her neck. The rest of the world doesn't exist when I'm in Mama's arms; she keeps me safe.

We stayed like that for a while before I felt better enough to want to get up. "Mama?" I asked, looking up at her as she hummed in acknowledgement. "Can we go get bagels for breakfast, please? Uncle Hunt says you can get rainbow ones," I asked excitedly after Sunday morning bagels had become a close second to wings as my favourite food. "I don't know, baby. After what happened, don't you want to rest a bit more?" She asked hesitantly, obviously wary about taking me out for food and the unknown elements of what I ate after Sunday. "Please, Mama? Maybe we can eat them in Central Park and look for Gerald again," I plead, using my best puppy eyes and making my lip quiver. Mama can never say no to that face. "Well, I could never say no to that face," she caved, squishing my cheeks between her hand softly, making me laugh. "Come on then, princess, we better get ready," she cheered before running us into the bathroom to get ready.