Returned to Sender - Scarlett Johansson

Part 53

Sawyer's POV

Today is the day the comic is coming out. I didn't really sleep last night. I was way too worried about how people would react. Over the last month, people have been very kind to me about my performance in Age of Ultron, and a lot of people have praised my acting. 

It feels weird receiving the praise, but it would feel awful if people decided I was only good because of Mama. I love Mama, but I don't want to be known because of her; I want people to like me because of me, not her. My past is defined by what people did to me. I want my future to be defined by me.

I know Mama is aware of my stress over the release of the comic as she let the two of us just lay in bed, all snuggled up for the majority of the day, knowing I needed her comfort to keep me calm. She had kept her phone turned off, keeping her attention on me all day.

 It was sweet of her to do so, but I think it might have just stressed me out more as neither of us really knew how people were reacting to the news if they were reacting to it at all. Maybe people thought it was a joke or simply didn't believe it, or perhaps people were outraged by the idea. We had no clue as we hid away in the apartment, only watching DVDs to avoid any gossip channels.

I know Mama was trying to help me relax, and every now and then, for a second, I would forget until I would remember, and the stress came back all over again.

It was five pm when we finally got ourselves ready to do something for the day. In the heart of everything to come, Mama's agent booked me on Jimmy Fallon, the show Mama had first told the world I existed on. The only thing was he had booked me to go on by myself, and I was beyond nervous about it. 

Mama has assured me that everything is going to be okay and that Jimmy is a lovely man and won't ask me anything too hard, but I still can't help myself stressing about the different things that could go wrong. We had arrived at the back of the show with an army of security around us so that no one could see us enter the building. 

Apparently, my appearance is a surprise, so extremes have been taken to keep me hidden today, which eased my nervousness slightly because at least I didn't have to deal with the paparazzi yelling all sorts at me. I'm not sure I'm ready to face those questions yet...

Mama stayed by my side the whole time I was getting ready, holding my hand tightly as the team in the room got me ready, changing into forest green suit shorts, a black T-shirt and an oversized blazer to match the shorts. 

I smile at Mama, trying to calm us both down. It was a cute outfit and definitely better than a lot of things I had to wear as of late to go on programs, so that relaxed me a little as the team curled the end of my hair slightly. As everyone left the room, Mama brought me into the hundredth hug of the hour, being careful not to ruin my outfit as she did so, making me chuckle at the weird angle she pulled me into her. 

"Now remember, Princess, I am going to be right in the audience where you can see me the whole time. If it gets too much, just say, I don't know, Mulan, and I will get the interview wrapped up, ok? But I am sure you'll be fine; Jimmy is really nice, and he will go easy on you, baby," she cooed, still having me in a tight hug. 

"I know Mama, you have spent all day preparing me for what's about to happen; it's just if people didn't know from the comics, they're about to find out, and that makes me nervous, that's all," I say as I pull out of the hug to get a good look at her. There's this specific look she gets in her eyes that I have never seen from another person before when she looks at me, and whenever I see it, I know for sure that no matter what happens, the two of us will get through it all together.

"It's time," an intern says, sticking their head into the door without knocking; Mama had asked them to just not knock on the door when coming in and out of my dressing room in the hopes of keeping me calm before the interview. It was little things like this that made me realise that, for the first time in my life, I am truly safe. There is someone in my life who pays so much attention to my life that she knows what I need without me ever having to explain.