Returned to Sender - Scarlett Johansson

Part 51

Sawyer's POV

I hated having to hear that clip over and over and over. I knew that listening to those words made Mama feel sad. I know she is worried I had meant them. It was no secret among the cast that Joss had instructed me to improve that scene. So I know that Mama must think I meant what I said. I mean, it's so easy to draw parallels between Nikita and me, but I hadn't meant any of it. 

While Nikitta may blame Natasha for her past, I would never think my past is Mama's fault. I was Nikita saying those words, not Sawyer. Lizzie and Chrissy had asked me about not watching the scene after Ellen, and once I explained it to them and Robert, who asked about it after a different interview, they all assured me that I was welcome to hide on them whenever that scene was on, promising not to tell Mama the real reason I hated that scene so much. 

She was worried about that scene anyway. She didn't need to know that it made me upset as well.

Today is the premier. To say I am nervous doesn't cover it, but I have to look at least calm, as Mama is currently stressed to the maximum. She had managed to get Cam and Chloe to come and help me get ready to avoid another freak-out like at the press junket. 

I met with this woman called Kate Young a few weeks ago, and together, we had planned my outfit, keeping it a surprise from Mama, not that Kate knew who my Mama was anyway. Kate is technically in charge of me until I get to the carpet tonight, although I am hoping that once I am ready, I can just go with Mama as co-stars instead. 

Kate and I are currently chatting while Cam and Chloe get me ready, checking with us both before they do anything. Mama was worried when she realised we would have to get ready in separate rooms, but when I promised I would be fine, she caved and got us adjoining rooms so that she was as close as possible to me.

Getting ready was boring. Cam and Chloe were so busy working on my hair and face that they wouldn't let me look at my books while we worked, unlike when I got ready on set. Kate had tried to read my Spanish book to me for a while but had to stop because she was confused, which made me laugh, resulting in a light scolding from Chloe as I moved too much, and she tried to put eye shadow on me. 

After what felt like years, I was released from the chair for a while. Kate said I had thirty minutes to read all I wanted to before I had to get dressed and leave. Instead, I opted to sneak into Lizzie's room, which was next to mine, to see how she was.

"Lizzie", I whined while banging on her door, waiting for someone to come let me in. After a few seconds, a man I didn't recognise opened it, making me jump back a little. "Who is it, Clay?" I heard Lizzie ask, making me relax slightly, but I was still on guard at the sight of the unknown person. 

"It's some child," he replied, eyeing me up funny, making me squirm. "Hey, SJ," Lizzie said as she walked over, making me run to her and cling to her leg, my nerves still feeling on edge. "Nola", I mumbled into her body, trying to remind her people were around. "Ops", Lizzie mumbled before scooping me up and walking back into her room, sitting in a chair similar to the one I had just escaped. 

"You are looking mighty pretty. Did you escape from Cam and Chloe?" She asked me softly as the man walked behind us and started doing stuff to Lizzie's hair. "Yeah, Kate said I have half an hour before I have to get dressed. I told Mama my look was a surprise, so I thought I would come to see you instead. I needed a break from Kate; she's bossy," I mumble, still cautious of the man doing Lizzie's hair.

"Well, I'm glad you came to see me. Nola, this is Clay; he is an old friend of mine; we have known each other for ages. He's the best hairstylist around, and I trust him a lot," Lizzie introduced, making me relax a little at knowing he was an old friend of Lizzie's. Hearing that Lizzie trusted him, I decided to be brave, so I held my hand out with a shy smile. "Hello, Clay, I'm Sawyer," I introduced myself, hoping I could trust him. "I thought your name was Nola?" He asked, confused, making Lizzie laugh.