Returned to Sender - Scarlett Johansson

Part 31

Sawyer's POV

I love acting. As soon as Mr. Kevin suggested it, I knew it was something I wanted to try; spending all that time watching Mama and the others doing it made me want to try, and when I did it, it just felt right. When I was playing Nikita, I understood her, the torture, the pain, all of it, and finding a way to play someone who could take all that pain and become strong made me feel better, made me feel as if she could do it, I could too. Playing Nikita has almost become therapeutic, as I find myself slowly working out my issues through her. A way where I can work things out without having to talk it through with anyone. Don't get me wrong, I mostly feel better after talking to Mama about my past, but there are things I just can't say, so being Nikita helps me work through the things that are too hard to say aloud.

The look on Mr. Kevin's and then everyone else faces when I did that scene with Lizzie and Aaron made me realise that acting was something I wanted to do forever, especially when I saw the look in Mama's eyes when I ran over to her. Mr Kevin said he was shocked that I had given Nikita a Russian accent off the bat, saying it was something he was going to get me a coach to learn but that he loved it, and I nailed it. Which made me love acting more. Something about using my therapeutic tool to make other people smile, even for a second, made acting even better.

We have been filming for a month, and I have loved the whole thing. I mainly film with Lizzie and Aaron, though, filming our backstory and time with Ultron, who is played by this dude called James, and he always looks funny when we film because of all the special effects that get added afterwards. He mainly wears a weird-looking suit. Today, however, I am filming my first scene with Mama; it's after the twins go good and leave with Captain America. The two of us end up locked in a cell by Ultron. I'm nervous about filming it though because this is going to be the first time I have acted with Mama, she's seen me perform whenever she's not filming, but she hasn't acted with me yet so it's going to be interesting, I really don't want to mess up in front of Mama, I just want to make her proud.

Mr. Kevin offered me my trailer to get ready in, but Mama said we would prefer we share one. I did get my own makeup lady; her name was Chloe, and she was the daughter of Miss Claudia. She was really calm and talked me through each stage of makeup just like her Mama had done on the first day. The only thing that has changed since the first time we filmed is my hair. They gave me a hair lady called Cam, and she is in charge of my red wig so that I look just like Mama. Cam has been teaching me how to do different braids on the wig, although although I was already okay with doing them before now, I am apparently great at them. I only have one costume throughout the film, but they have given me multiple sets of it, and Mama said if I do really well, maybe I can keep one as a souvenir after the movie is done. I also met this man called Louis, and he's from the prop department; he let me help him design my own weapon, seeing as everyone else got their own. I spent hours researching all types of weapons before settling on a xiphos, which is a double-edged, one-handed sword used in the Iron Age by the ancient Greeks. It's supposedly made of a Vibranium-metal alloy after acquiring some in a mission to Wakanda with a silver hilt and emerald green details; it is magnificent and super fun to wave around when we practice battle scenes. Robert has already said he's going to acquire it somehow for me so that I can keep it after filming.

I have just finished getting ready, with Chloe spending a little longer on my face today, as I needed to look battered and bruised, a look I'm all too familiar with. We had agreed, though, that I could keep my eyebrow scar on display, which made me happy; I didn't want to feel like I had to hide my injuries from my past, so I liked that I could show them in the movie. Mama is in the bathroom changing while Cam sprinkles dust into my wig, making me giggle as it floats around the air. "Wow, look at you, baby. I still haven't gotten used to seeing you all kitted out in that wig," Mama gushed as she plucked me out of the makeup chair, which had my name on the back, a small detail that had made me smile for a week after receiving it. "We need to head to set; filming starts in five," Mama's new assistant announced, coming into the busy trailer. I jumped out of Mama's arms, grabbing my script and Nat like I always do before running out of the trailer and over to set five, which is where we are filming today. The scene we are doing right now only has Mama and me in, but as I run into the set, I notice Lizzie standing by the chairs in her comfy clothes, making me smile as I run over.