Returned to Sender - Scarlett Johansson

Part 55

Sawyer's POV

My birthday was surreal. I still can't believe all the presents I got, especially the Iron Man glove for my collection from Robert and that comic from Mr Stan. Mama had gone above and beyond to celebrate. There was even a surprise party once we got home, which terrified me briefly but was super fun; with some more of the cast plus Mama's family, it was the perfect day, although I would have been just as happy spending the day cuddling with Mama all day. 

I think on some levels, she feels the need to make up for all the time we lost when we were apart, but really, the only thing I need from her is love, and she gives that to me twenty-four-seven, so I really can't ask for anything more. I just wished she knew how thankful I am for her. I can still see it in her eyes sometimes, the sadness and guilt of my past haunting her. It happens less now than at the start, but I still catch it from time to time.

Today is a special day for me. To the rest of the world, it's just Thursday, March twelfth, two thousand and fifteen. But for me, it marks something much more. It marks the day I received the best gift I will ever receive. I may not have known a year ago, but this day was the best day of my life. It granted me a year of freedom. 

Three hundred and sixty-five days of having a bed to sleep in and food in my belly. Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty hours of being safe and protected. Thirty-one million, five hundred and thirty-six thousand seconds of being loved unconditionally. It gave me a future where I will have all these things all the time. It gave me hope that there was a place for me in this world. It gave me a chance to be Sawyer Nola Johansson.

Today, a year ago, I woke up in a hospital bed and was gifted the opportunity to be a child again. By some twisted turn of fate, I ended up accidentally knocking myself out, only to be found by a kind stranger who called the paramedics to be taken to a hospital, where, despite my best efforts, they found out my identity, only for someone somewhere to think of calling my birth mother as a final option and by some miracle she came and saved me. 

I know technically, all this happened on March tenth, but I would like to count today as the day we met, seeing as I was unconvinced for the first two days. Mama saved my life a year ago today, and I'm not even sure she knows that.

I don't know if Mama knows what significance today holds to me, but to be honest, I don't care. As long as I can spend the day with her, that's all that matters. I plan on spending the whole day in Mama's arms, and then later, I have a little something to say to her, or more accurately, something to play for her. 

Since my performance at Halloween, I realised that sometimes I can sing about my feelings better than I can talk about them, so I may have written a song for Mama over the last couple of weeks to play for her tonight so she knows just how much she has impacted my life over the last year.

I had made breakfast for Mama this morning. It was usual for me to get up before her, usually spending my mornings in front of my blackboard wall, working on my equations. But today was all about showing Mama how grateful I am for the last year of my life. I guess I thought I would treat today the way most people would treat Mother's Day. 

Carefully carrying the tray upstairs, I manage to open the door without spilling anything; placing the tray on the side, I hop into bed with Mama to cuddle until she wakes up because there's no way I am passing up on an opportunity of cuddles from Mama. Her cuddles give me a sense of comfort I wasn't even able to dream of a year ago. 

I loved my adoptive Mummy, I think, but not even she could provide the safety I feel when I am in Mama's arms. It's like whenever I am in Mama's arms, the whole world could be falling apart, but I know I will be safe from it all because I know Mama will always protect me.