street fights

i love/hate you

Tessa's POV

"I know you wanna go. Dallas told us the whole thing. I woulda never guessed he was doing stuff like that." Johnny started.

"He told you about the...?"

"The drugs? Yeah. But I just wanna tell you, he feels real bad."

"Yeah, right. Dallas Winston feeling bad. Ha." I said walking towards a seat.

"Well, he'd never admit it. But I think he does. He was upset all day and kept asking how he was supposed to fix this." I didn't respond. "I'd just say hear him out. He's spent all day thinking what to say to ya. And you know Dal. He's not very good at that stuff."

I sighed. "Alright. Fine."

"Hey, guys." Ponyboy said.

"Hey." We both replied.

We all sat down and watched the movie, but I couldn't focus. I wanted to talk to Dally.

I hated admitting it, but I did.

The movie seemed to go by slower than ever. Ponyboy and Johnny went back to his house and I went to Bucks.

I walked inside and I saw Dally behind the bar talking to some girl.

Maybe now's not the best time.

But against my better judgement, I walked up there. "Tessa! You're here."

"Yeah, umm... I guess I'll hear ya out." I said only loud enough so he could hear.

He looked at me like he was trying to get a read on me. "Alright..." He mumbled.

We walked outside and I crossed my arms. "Ok. You wanna talk. Let's talk." I mumbled.

He took a breath. "You're right. There's nothing left to say." He said quickly. "I'll drive ya up to New York tomorrow morning." He said quickly before going back inside.

I raised an eyebrow. That was all he had to say?

I sighed and just accepted it. I walked upstairs and Dallas went to talk to the girl again. I changed my clothes and packed everything up.

I laid down and felt myself drifting off asleep when I heard the door open. Dallas must be sleeping up here tonight. I was so dozed off I wasn't in the mood to debate anything. I was over to the side enough that he had room.

"Tessa?" He asked.

I was so close to being asleep. I could feel it.

"Tessa?" He asked again. I opened my eyes and my hair was a huge mess over the pillow. I could still pretend I was asleep. Maybe he'd go away.

"I dunno if you're ignoring me or you're genuinely asleep, but I'm sorry. That's not what I wanted to say to you outside. Jesus Christ, I actually had a lot to say."

He took a breath. I still didn't move. I heard him yawn a bit.

"I'm sorry for everything. For lying to you. For treating you the way I did. For Sylvia. For everything. I just-" He sighed. "I wish I could fix it. I wish I could take back everything. If I could go back, I'd take back the past three years to have you back. To go back to how things were."

He laid down on the bed. "I should have known you'd be alright in that damn fight. You're tough. I know that. I hate myself every day for making you stay home. Not telling you sooner. I wish I knew you knew about the shit I've been hiding. I don't know why I was ok with keeping that from you."

I felt the bed shift. "I hope you don't mind me sleeping here tonight. Im exhausted and I can't wait for this place to close to sleep downstairs. I'll still take ya to New York tomorrow. Good night. I'm sorry for everything."

I felt myself become more aware.

Did I hallucinate that?

I don't know how long I spent processing the fact Dallas just said everything like that. He sounded so genuine and sincere. I couldn't believe it.

I managed to look up and turn to the other side to face him. I moved the hair out of my face and felt tears form in my eyes.

I don't know why I've been so emotional lately, but I just couldn't help it. I felt so... cared for?

I felt awful.

I laid down on my side and Dallas was already asleep. I noticed his breathing become lighter and his movement minimal.

I either spent longer than I thought processing things or he really was tired.

I wiped the tears off my cheeks and laid down closer to him. It wasn't as easy falling asleep as it was before, but it didn't matter anymore.

I didn't care.

I felt his heart rate get slower and it sync with mine.

I seemed to be aware of the whole world. Every little noise and every little creek became noticeable. Even through the people downstairs were loud and everyone was partying, all I can focus on was Dallas.

I wasn't sure when I drifted to sleep, but I woke up to a loud noise from downstairs. Dallas and I both shifted to see if we could figure out what the noise was.

We got our answers when Buck started sweating and we realized he dropped a glass.

Dallas and I both groaned as we looked at the clock to realize it was only 4:00 in the morning.

Dallas looked at me without a word and started to fall back asleep.

I wrapped my hands around his neck as I felt his hands go around my waste to pull my closer.

I started to close my eyes so I could get a few more hours of sleep, but he spoke up. "I thought you said you hated me."

I looked down slightly to make eye contact with him. "Yeah, but I also love you; so, guess I'll have to make up my mind sooner or later."

He grinned and closed the gap between our faces.

We didn't fall back asleep quite yet, but I wouldn't have asked for this night to end any other way.