Chapter 18 - Trust

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❤️ This is my absolute favorite chapter, I may have cried a little bit while writing it.
I hope you all love it as much as I do. ❤️

(Songs for this chapter
Think About It - JOY.
Would That I - HOZIER
Mine - PHOEBE RYAN)

GHOST POV

I do accept her exactly the way she is, I don't want her to change, not for me or to fit in. I have to tell her.

She hasn't been seen inside the base all day. I know she will be hiding outside somewhere. I've been looking for a while when I hear something on the west side. It's soft and sounds like humming. I look around trying to locate the sound when I notice one of the unused old office blocks has a ladder up the back. I've never noticed that before. I climb up it quietly. The voice getting louder, it's her alright I can hear it. She's softly singing, it's as beautiful as she is.

It's dark up here, no lights like the rest of the base. But I can see her. At the end of the roof, sitting on the edge of the roof wall.

I slowly walk closer, I don't want to surprise her but I also don't want scare her off.
"I can see you."
She says cutting off her singing and leaving the night air empty.
"And I see you El." I say back to her. She has to know I'm not talking about finding her on this roof.
I take my mask off.
Now there's nothing between us.
I slowly continue towards her.

"Don't." She warns but she hasn't moved despite me getting closer.

"Don't what?" I quietly say.

I feel like every doubt we've both had is sitting in the silence between us, and the closer I get the more of them melt away.
I can just make out that she's looking in my direction her legs hanging off the wall. The faint light of the base just enough to see the lines and shape of her face. The bruises and cuts on her face like a badge of her affection for me.

"Don't pull me in if you are going to drown me." She says it with such sorrow that I take the last few steps faster. I kneel down in front of her, her head now slightly higher than mine. She has her eyes closed, tears escaping down her face.

"I won't ever." I say reaching up and wiping the tears away with my thumb, delicately so I don't hurt her.

"I won't survive you." She whispers it so softly it's painful.

I run my fingers down her cheek, across her neck and down her shoulder to her hand. Bringing it to my cheek so she can feel my face.

"I won't survive without you." I answer back.

She takes over control of the hand I've put on my face and puts her other hand up as well. Slowly feeling my face, getting know the lines, the scars. Her fingers on my face is the most lovingly I've ever been touched. She moves one of her hands down to my heart, her favorite place.
It's beating so fast, all because of her.

"El," I whisper as I put my forehead to hers.
Her other hand is still on my cheek, touching it so softly, like she's scared she might break me.

"Simon," she breathes it sadly. And I can't hold myself from her anymore.
I kiss her with so much love, with no boundaries, no walls. I trust her completely.

I can feel the same emotion from her. She's letting down the last wall she had around the most secret parts of her herself, she trusts me.

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