Astrid

--27--

this is a double update make sure you've read --26--

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I looked down at the blood on my hands, the body of my dad cold as ice. Then I realized what I just did. I realized that I just killed him. Tears streamed down my cheeks, blood and sweat mixing. What did I just do?

I looked around, my mind fuzzy. He was gone. Gone forever. But... I knew I would be caught, I knew I would be in trouble.

I just committed murder.

There was only one option, one way that he wouldn't haunt me in the middle of the night, one way his ghost wouldn't follow me around, watching my every move and taunting me.

I was already considering it. 

Before everything, before the boys, before Kaitlyn, before all of that. What was stopping me?

Death is the end of your life. But what if you never lived it?

My hands shook, but I knew what I needed to do. What's the point in living if you never really lived. There is none.

I knew what I had to do.

I ran up the stairs, writing a letter to the boys and scheduling it to send to them in two hours. When I was already gone. Yes, they would miss me.

But I will be in a better place.

I took one last look around the house. The house that wasn't a home and felt my heart break for the last time.

Deep down, I knew this would happen. 

And I was ready.

So I greeted death like an old friend, and he welcomed me into his warm arms.