XANDER (Editing)

Chapter 45

I get into the shower at the hospital. Damn these things are tiny. I can hardly fit myself in. I have to literally squash myself in. And the shower head is pressing up against my shoulder which is sore as well. But none the less, its still a shower. I turn it on and out comes hot water. I groan as it pours down my body. I haven't had a shower in a while. I've been washing myself in the freezing river. 

As I 'attempt', key word, to wash myself, I continue to pray for Izzy. I haven't seen her much for 9 months. Yeah I acted as soul for a bit, but I can only do that so many times until someone would notice. My heart was literally breaking every time I saw her. Sometimes I would sit outside her window and I would have to witness my very fragile mate sobbing, screaming and crying her heart out. Trust me when I say that it was just as painful for me. I may have not cried, but I definitely yelled, screamed, shouted and roared my heart out. Sometimes I missed her so much that I went on a day long run. It was painful, but it helped me stop thinking about her for a bit. But to be honest, nothing could really ever stop me from thinking about her. She is my everything. 

When I saw her on her knees in front of Matheseus. I was angry as hell. And what he was saying was just the cherry on top that made me snap. I had so much anger for that monster. He hurt so many people I cared about. But the worst part was that he hurt my mate. He raped her knowing that it would give me pain. And damn that was the worst. I couldn't handle even the thought of him touching her let alone...doing some even further than that.

I can tell that she has been trying to be strong. She has been for 9 months. But I think that this time I'm the one that has to be strong for her. I need to be her rock right now. She needs t release all of her feelings, all of her suffering and pain and let me carry some so than the load of all of that won' be so heavy on her anymore. I'll carry her to healing if I have to. I'll lift everything off her shoulders so than she can be the person she once was. 

Alpha! It's Lizzy! Get down here quick!

I am instantly out of the shower and chucking on some clothes.
What happened?

She isn't doing good man.

How bad is it?

It's really bad man..

I run out of the shower room and race to where my Izzy is. I don't even take the elevator. I jump down the stairs and bursted through the doors. I see Noah and he is pacing. He senses my presence because his head snaps up to me. He looks a little pale. My heart is beating in fear for what is to come. "What is it? What happened?"

He opens his mouth to talk, but is interrupted when the doctor comes in. the old man doesn't even give me a smile. His face is just grim, "Hello Alpha. my name is doctor woodward."

"Where is my mate?" I growled.

He takes his glasses off and sighs, "She's still alive." I release a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "But, her wounds were too great. They were left for too long. The blood transfusion didn't work either. She will only have a couple of ours at most. I suggest you to spend as much time with her as possible." He bows his head to me and walks away.

I just stand there. She's going to die. My Izzy is gonna die. I look at the door. She's right on the other side. And soon she will be on the ground. I fist my hands and clench my jaws to stop me from crying. My chest goes up and down hard. This can't be happening. 

"Xander?" Noah lays his hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off. "Don't touch me right now Noah. I don't want to hurt you." I walk forward into a random room. It looks like a staff room of some kind. I grab the chair and throw it across the room. I take a hold of the glass cups and smash them against the wall. I wreck everything in my path. I grab a hold of picture frames, plates, flower, table, and couches. "Ahhhhhh!!!!! WHY!?" I roar. I fall to my knees. I punch the floor over and over again. I feel my knuckles breaking and bleeding, but I don't care. My mate is going to die and there is nothing I can do about it. I end up sagging against the wall. "Please don't let this be true."  I take a very very very deep breath. I need to compose myself now. She only has a couple of hours. 

I get up off the floor and look at the room...if you can even call it that anymore. "It's okay, I can pay for it to get fixed." I walk out of the room and go to Izzy.

I slowly enter her room, assuming she would probably be resting, but instead she was awake. She has Xavier in her arms. She hasn't noticed me yet. I stand there and watch for a bit. Usually she would be able to notice me straight away if I walked into a room, but she is so engrossed in our son that she hadn't. And I'm okay with that. The fact that she loves our son so much, maybe even more than me, makes me love her even more. She would've been a good mum. I am one lucky guy to have someone like her as a mate.

I clear my throat, trying to grab her attention. She raises her face. As soon her eyes connect with mine, her face beams. I smile back at her. As I walk to her, I notice she was really pale, big bags under her eyes and she's lost a lot of weight considering she just had a baby. "Hey sweetheart," I say softly. I lean down and give her a kiss. "hey," she whispers.

"How's our little boy huh?"

She smiles down at our pup, "He's so beautiful Xander. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I can't believe he's all ours."

"You're going to be a great mother."

Her smile falters slightly, "I would've tried to be a good mother."

I frown, "You know?"

She nods, "The doctor told me when I woke up."

I look down at my hands. I could feel my eyes water slightly, but I took a deep breath to control myself, "S-so you know that you have...limited time then?"

Her brows scrunch together in sadness, "Yes Xander, I know," she whispers.

I grab a hold of her hand, "There has to be another way. Maybe they can re-evaluate you and see maybe they can do another surgery or maybe they can put you on some sort of medicine? Or-"

"Xander," she cuts through, "There is nothing to be done about it. This is the way it is."

I look her in the eye, "You don't seem too worried about it."

She frowns. Her bottom lip quivers and her eyes pool with unshed tears, "You think that I'm not worried? or anxious? I'm going to die Xander! and there's nothing you or me or anyone else can do about it! I just found you again! After 9 months and now I'm the one leaving! I wish this was all some kind of plan or some kind of trick, I wish there was some kind of magic voodoo involved to bring me back. BUT THERE ISN'T! This is not the same as what you did. You faked your death. I am going to die for REAL! And you think that doesn't break my heart? We won't be able to grow old together, we won't be able to have more pups, I won't get to watch our son grow up! And you think I am not worried?" she sobs. I get out of my chair sit on the bed. I lean in and wrap my arms around my Izzy. She buries her head in my chest and sob. I just hold her tight against me and rock her. I whisper soft words in her ear as she cries her heart out. 

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just can't bare the thought of spending the rest of my life without you. You're my everything. And now you're gonna be taken away from me."

I feel her cup my face in her hands, "Promise me one thing Xander," she whispers.

"Anything."

"Promise me that you'll be strong for Xavier. Don't fade away and me the shell of yourself. Our son needs. Don't be like all those other mates who end up killing themselves. Just remember that I am not fully gone. I am in him. In our son. If you take care of him, u are taking care of me."

I nod, "I promise."