w 1 t n e s s

forty-six

halle

After Tyler proposed to me, the rest of the summer seemed to flash by without a second glance.

We attended Tayler's wedding to Dylan in the first week of August. I was still a bridesmaid, but my pink dress had been altered significantly to accommodate my bump.

Seeing my best friends get married was emotional. Especially in my state. I didn't stop crying the whole night. The tears flowed freely Tayler pulled me onto the dance floor and twirled me around while she told me how amazing I'd made her special day.

We partied all day and all night. Though I embarrassingly fell asleep during part of it, I had a fantastic time. We ate good food, enjoyed company, and sang songs out of tune. It was the best experience before my life got crazy.

The time for crazy was just around the corner. Hunter was due in less than a week. Less than a week of it just being the two of us in this apartment. And so while Tyler was off getting ready for the season, I wrote about how I felt.

With a cup of tea, soft songs, and comfortable pajamas, I settled on the couch in front of my laptop.

To my fabulous son,

I'm writing this when I haven't met you yet. I think about you almost every single second. I think about the day I get to see you for the first time and how I'm going to feel. I think about all your future firsts and how your dad and I get to be there for all of them. I can't wait to meet you.

You're almost here. You've given me a crazy nine months. Some worries and some pains. But you've also opened my eyes. You've shown me what it means to be a fiancé. What it means to be a friend.

We're not going to be alone any more. You're going to arrive with all your brilliance and we're going to love you unconditionally. I want you to always remember that. Whatever happens in life, we love you.

Daddy is terrified. He'll never admit it, but I can see it. He's scared that we won't be there for you. He's scared that he won't be the father that you deserve. You and I, we know the truth. Your Daddy is the most thoughtful and caring man I've ever met. He let me in. He let me heal his wounds. We grew up together in this city. We're not kids anymore.

You're going to have the best life. Daddy will have you in skates before you can walk. He'll bring you to the rink every chance he can. You already have so many uncles that want to teach you all about this crazy sport. I'm going to say goodbye to breakable items around the apartment. When you come around, this house is going to turn into hockey center. Daddy will finally have an excuse to leave his stuff around. I'll teach you not to be as messy as him. And who knows, maybe by the time you read this we'll have that big mansion in Canada with a minivan and dogs. Maybe you'll have siblings to play with.

What's the future like, my sweet boy? Is it everything I'm imagining it to be? Has Daddy won any more Stanley Cups? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you play hockey like Daddy does? When does your first love happen? When do you get married? Am I a grandma yet?

Do you love your life? Do we show you the undying love we have for you every day? I hope the future is bright and sweet. I hope you never have a bad day. And when you're upset, I hope you come to me and tell me how you feel.

You're almost here. Our lives are about to change. Get ready for the world, little one. It's full of traveling, hockey, victories and love. You're going to get to see the world and get the best experiences. Daddy hopes you like hockey as much as he does. Daddy also hopes you help him win more cups. But most of all Daddy hopes you have the best life possible. I hope you know how loved you are. I loved you the second I found out about you. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life.