First There Was You

Chapter 12: Greyson

June 20

Minett, Muskoka

Frac's is jumping tonight. The long docks are packed with boats, some rafted off one another. The rooftop deck is packed, making me glad we came early.

Watching her get excited over all the tricks makes me smile. She's counting, bracing, twitching, and clenching her small body in time with Hud's tricks. When he went up the ski jump, she'd actually closed her eyes, scrunching them tightly.

I wonder if she'd worry like that for me?

Elle and Hud are near to inseparable. As long as I can remember, they've been together all the time. They're so in sync that I sometimes find I'm jealous of his knowing her thoughts, feelings, as well as his own. I find that I want that, too. I'm worried she won't let go again, trust again... at least not with me.

For now, I'm pleased she's content to stay in this close proximity to me, relaxing into my chest, letting me touch her. I find the contact soothing like just by this smallest of touches, I'll absorb her happiness and laughter.

She's always been openly affectionate, physically, and emotionally and I envy this about her. She's the only person I can think of whose touch and affection don't set my teeth on edge.

Tracing my fingers over her shoulder, I can't help but feel grateful for this time together. I know I was such an ass last year. I'd regretted my actions almost immediately after that first event for our schools. I'd watched the hurt flash across her face when she'd asked me to the school dance, and I'd told her I already had a date. I hadn't, and I'm not entirely sure why I decided to lie.

She'd even taken a second chance asking me to another event, I could've repaired our relationship then, but I'd continued to be an ass. Denying all my feelings for her. Feeling so unworthy of her. Convincing myself I had no right to be with her, that she'd be better off with someone else, hell anyone else.

It had gone on like this, for months, until New Year's, when I'd seen Hudson kiss her at midnight, I'd nearly snapped. In my mind I knew it wasn't anything serious, he'd barely touched her. I tried to talk myself out of it, but before I knew it, she'd been in my arms, and my lips had been on hers. Only for the briefest of moments, but I'd felt complete. That's when I'd known what a mistake I'd made, but I didn't know how to find my way back.

Looking at her now, she's changed, just a little from last summer. She's curvier, filling in beautifully, and I can't help but appreciate those curves. Her angelic face has lost some of the round, youthful cherubic shape, her chin is slightly pointed, her cheekbones just a little more prominent.

It'd taken all my self-control not to peek over my shoulder as she'd changed, but even I have my limits. I had hoped she'd give in to her own curiosity and look back over her shoulder as I'd changed. But who am I kidding, she's too polite for that. Too shy for that.

I barely watch the ski show, trying to work out a game plan for this summer and for making it work again in the fall if she agrees. I can't fuck up this time.

When Hud finishes, she relaxes fully, turning towards me with a big smile on her face and excitement dancing in her eyes. "How amazing was that? This is going to be the best season for them, I just know it."

"It was pretty cool," I admit. I reach out to tuck a stray piece of hair that's blown free from Elle's braid behind her ear. She blushes a pretty shade of pink, and I smile at her, "Now, let's get down to business. What do you think you'd like to eat?"

Elle bites her lip, thinking. "I'll have the cobb salad, please." It drives me crazy when she does this, and for just a moment, I imagine running my tongue over that bottom lip of hers.