Rules to Feeling Lonely

Chapter 50

"You look absolutely stunning", I would have loved to hear those words from anyone but not from him. I reluctantly closed my front door and took a deep breath before I turned back to my date for the night.

"Let's go", Nathan held out his arm for me and I just pushed all my emotions out of the way, following him to the car. The better I react to him, the quicker I might get to go home again.

I stepped into the car and instantly felt uncomfortable sitting there again. It brought nothing but bad memories...

He softly closed the door before he went around and got in the driver seat himself. He shortly gave me a smile which I just decided to return before he started the car. No words got spoken during the ride and I was grateful for that. The moment we would get to talking I wouldn't be able to keep in the emotions and I know that the moment I would let them in, I would just get sick.

We arrived at some fancy dinner and Nathan led the both of us inside. The waited brought us to a more secluded area and I could curse, I would feel so much safer if I knew there were people around me.

I sat reluctantly down and the waiter put down some menus before leaving us alone. Reading the menu, I looked up confused as I heard him clear his throat. I followed his eyes and he darted them to his hand that laid open on the table. Is he really expecting me to hold his hand? Like nothing that happened mattered?

"You hurt me Nathan, I'm not just ready to start holding your hand", I spoke seriously and my boldness seemed to surprise him. Of course it would. Being with him had made me shy and quiet and I worked hard the past year to get back to the person I was, I wasn't ready to let go off that.

"I did what I had to do Ella, you left me remember", he innocently spoke and I could roll my eyes, but didn't.

"You know I'm not just talking about that", I spoke back sharply in his head softly nodded in acknowledgement. The worst thing was that you would expect some sort of guilt on his face yet he had a sick smile on his face. I knew he didn't regret what he did to me, don't even think he knows what's wrong about it.

"Just come back with me little rose and we can forget about all this", I looked at him with wide eyes as he diverted his eyes back to the menu. Is he serious? Forget it? I lived in constant pain and fear for months and he's telling me to just 'forget it'?

"Forget about it? I should go to the fucking police", I spoke, almost yelling as I slammed my fist on the table and his eyes angrily snapped up. Fuck.

"And you'll tell them what? Show them what prove?" his glare turned to a sadistic smile and he grabbed for my hand before I could pull away.

Just as I was about to pull my hand away the waiter came back and Nathan ordered for the both of us like the sick control freak he was.

"Thank you", the waiter gave us a polite smile before collecting the menus and walking off.

"You shouldn't say such stupid things, darling", Nathan brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it. The gesture should be seen as romantic but from him, it did nothing more than make me want to throw up.

"So I heard you're seeing your father again?" he started conversation and I already dreaded the rest of this evening. I wasn't surprised he knew about that though...

"Yeah, we're trying to work things out", I explained, putting my gaze everywhere but him.

"That's good, not that the bastard deserved it", he muttered the last part and I harshly bit my tongue. So he deserved a chance, for me to forget everything but not my dad? What a hypocrite. He shouldn't speak about my father like that either, not even knowing the story.