The love letter and the suicide note

2:26pm

"I thought you were going to be out all day today." Carly said as Astra stepped into their house.

"I wanted to go home early." Was all Astra said as she walked past her friend and went into her room. She shut the door and then fell into her bed, immediately crying as she hugged her pillow and buried her face in the blankets.

She ruined their day. She was having fun, and he said he had fun, but she had ruined it.

He was smiling. He was laughing.

She ruined it.

Astra's phone started buzzing and she looked up from the blankets and reached out to grab it. Her uncle was calling her again, so she declined it and dialed the only number she wanted to call.

The only person she wanted to talk to right now.

He picked up immediately.

"Heyy babes, did you have fun with your boyfriend today?" Arlo said loudly into the phone.

"I went home early, I ruined our day Arlo." Astra started crying all over again, and Arlo was quiet. He probably wasn't expecting her to be crying.

"What happened?"

"Harley. I keep thinking about her, I keep reliving that moment. She won't go away, she won't leave me alone. He almost got hit by a car and then suddenly, I just freaked out. He almost died. Harley did die. I couldn't save her, and so scared I can't save him."

"Wait honey, what do you mean by save him? Is he in danger?"

Astra was quiet. She forgot only Carly knew about him, she never told her other friends or anyone else.

"Nothing, I just meant that-"

"You can't lie to me, I always know. I can tell. Now babes, you can talk to me."

"He's going to kill himself in 21 days. The only reason I took him to the bakery is because he agreed to let me take him to places that I think he'd love every day of this week to try and help him change his mind about it. To show him how beautiful the world is and how there are so many things he can do with his life." Astra sighed.

"Sweetheart-"

"I know, I know. You can't just change someone's mind when they're suicidal. You just can't. They feel like it's for the best, that everyone will be better without them. They feel like they're doing it for everyone else's sake, and to get away from all the pain. I can't change his mind about suicide, but I can be there for him and help him, and hope with all my heart that he changes his mind. I can't say he's selfish, because I know he's not. He's not."

"In my opinion, I feel like suicidal people are the most selfless. They think they're doing the right thing, to help those around them, and to help themselves. From their perspective, they believe that if they leave, it'd make everything better for those around them and themselves."

"It does make sense. Harley always told me that she believed with all her heart that people would be happier if she left. She believed it. She did it because she thought we'd all be happier without her. She did it because she thought it'd help us." Tears slid down Astra's face as she thought of her sister.

"Aw honey, I know what you went through was horrible, just awful, but I'm here for you if you ever need someone. And you have Margo, Carly, your other friends I haven't met - which how dare you have another group of friends I don't know - and you even have Orson. You aren't alone. Call me whenever you want to talk or cry and even scream. I'll always be here."

"Thanks Arlo." Astra said as she sniffled and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Of course babe."