The love letter and the suicide note

3 days until suicide

"So, you still on for tomorrow?" Astra asked Orson when she sat down on the bench he was sitting on.

"Yeah." He said.

He looked worse than any other time she had seen him. He was pale, dark bags under his eyes. His hair was a huge mess, like he hadn't brushed it for days. He looked like he hadn't slept in a few days too.

He looked sick and exhausted.

"When was the last time you slept?" Astra asked him as she gently touched his arm. She hated how he didn't sleep, but she knew it wasn't his fault.

"I don't know." He said.

"Orson, you need to sleep. Please promise me you'll try to sleep tonight." Astra grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Okay."

In the past days he hadn't been saying a full sentence. He'd only say one word, or a few words. He was never like this with her before, something was definitely up, and it hurt her to see him like this. She wanted to help him, that's all she wanted.

"Hey, talk to me. What's wrong?" Astra leaned forward to look at his face, but he kept staring at the lake in front of them. He didn't look at her.

He didn't say anything.

"Orson?"

3 days. He had 3 days left.

Maybe that was why he was acting different.

No. She was going to save him. He was going to have fun tomorrow. He'll be happy again. She wasn't going to let him die.

She wasn't going to fail him like she failed Harley. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she failed twice in keeping someone alive.

"It's going to be okay." Astra whispered to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, pulling him close to her. He didn't hug her back, he just froze, staring at the lake in front of them.

She could feel his hot breath on her neck.

"I'm right here." She whispered.

She ran her fingers in his curls, and she felt him shiver a little as they tickled his neck. She pressed her lips to his neck and kissed him softly, and as her lips touched his neck, she felt him turn his head a little, brushing his cheek past the top of her head.

"Please talk to me." Tears formed in her eyes as she pulled away from him. She didn't know what to do.

A few tears had slid down his face, and she immediately grabbed his face in her hands and kissed them away. He was crying. He was hurting, and it broke her to see him so broken.

"Please talk to me. Please, I'm right here." Astra gently shook his head, and for the first today, he looked away from the lake and at her. For the first time today, and for a while, he finally looked at her.

But there was so much pain in his eyes.

"Star."

"I'm right here. I want to help you, please let me help you. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong." She stroked his wet cheek with her thumb and gave him a sad smile.

"I can't." He whispered.

"You can't what?" She asked.

"I can't." Was all he said as he closed his eyes, a few more tears escaping and sliding down his face, but she quickly wiped them away.

"It's okay." She said and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his. "It's okay."

It wasn't okay.