chapter 10

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"We are really sorry, Ayra. What we did was wrong. We should have enquired you about it," Dad said making me leap in soreness. I wasn't expecting an apology from dad. I gazed at everything with my eyes but them.

I don't know what to tell them. But I am relieved that they understood what they did was wrong. An accusation is something that can make a permanent negative mark on one's heart. It can be so hurtful sometimes.

But hearing an apology from my parents, was something I am not used to. Especially, after something like this. Still, with relief, the slightest bit of guilt crossed me.

"We gave it a thorough thought," once again dad speak breaking my thinking.
Give a thorough thought to what? I raise an eyebrow at him. I am not ready to open my vocals yet so gestures are now enough.

"We inquired about Ibrahim, with the help of uncle Musraf." My jaws dropped to the floor. I was expecting everything but this. I never thought they will give Ibrahim a chance to their thought. Ummi is looking down at her thighs. Maybe she is not satisfied with dad's decision.

My ears heed the phrases that are going to fly out of my dad's mouth. I sit there without moving, afraid that any movement will make me miss dad's words.

"We tried our best to get any guilty actions out of his personality... Uncle Musraf asked his companions from Houston about Ibrahim. All they had to say about him was good deeds." By the time dad finished, he was deep in a guilty puddle. His face looked dull.

Digesting every word, I let the silence treat me with its secrets. Why would they want to find his guilty actions? Because he is a widower? A part of me is angry with their thought.

Shaking his head, dad continued, "we are thinking of considering it, Ayra. You were right! It's about an innocent child! We shouldn't let our ego be in the way. Your mother was angry because he is a divorcee and you are more than enough for him."

His phrases were giving me a sense of satisfaction but the end sentence ruined it all. People don't know who is enough and who is not! Only Allah knows! Because he created us!

"Dad, ummi we don't know who is good enough... Allah knows best, he is the one who decides it," I tell them. I know, I am in no place to tell them this. But I believe in telling the truth to people regardless of age and experience.

"We now know, Ayra, that's why we are approving this matter if his family is okay with it." Dad's words made me realize that I still have to explain things to Ihsan. A pang of heaviness weighted my chest.

Will they believe me? What if Ihsan decides against this? But whatever the decision is, Allah must have willed it. I should trust him, nevertheless.

"We can talk about this tomorrow, dad. You guys should sleep. It's already late. Assalam Alaikum." I say as I caught ummi yawning. It's very late there and this is not a matter to be discussed when everyone is tired.

---

I don't have any appetite this morning. It's the weekend and I have to meet Ihsan today. I am still contemplating my speech for her. Where should I start?

I am sure that I don't have a convincing vocal. I will just explain the truth to her. Yes, that is cool.

After, doing my morning business, I check my phone. Aysha has massaged me;

I heard everything from ummi. Let's wait for the time to speak.

Do you want any help from Fahad? He is asking if he needs to talk to Ibrahim or anything?

A smile appears on my face without my consent. When did my sister become so mature? My smile widens when I recall all the 'pottatharangal' (crazy things)she had done.

Fahad jeeju was always helpful no matter how. He was there when we needed a brother. He is not our brother-in-law but our brother. A brother we needed since we were only three daughters.

A notification of Ihsan's message slides from up. Just upon seeing the notification, my heart skips a beat.
Sluggish by, I open the message;

Let's meet for brunch.

Brunch? The time is 8:57 am now.

Yeah, fine with me.

Will I be okay? I should be, right? But why is this feeling of uneasiness still lingering on me?!

Another message pops up;

Okay, great! I'll text you the place. Now I need to get Ali here. Bye!

I just sent a quick okay. I still don't know if Ibrahim knows about me or not. If yes, does he know about the accusation? If not, how will he react to Ihsan?

I keep my phone away and decide to go with my daily routine plus an unusual routine of going out for brunch.

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Ali is too good this morning. When I washed him earlier, he stayed put. I mean, what and how? Seeing him calm and happy made me forget yesterday's circumstances.

I didn't confront them about it and pretended to not know anything. They were acting so obviously but still, I held my act too.

Laying Ali on the bed, I take his diaper bag. "What?" With my sudden reaction, Ali is startled but I assure him. But how will I assure myself?

THE DAMN DIAPERS ARE FINISHED!!!

I mean I bought it like yesterday... A whole 30-diaper pack! And it's finished with only one left!

Ya Allah, maybe I should stop being an IT worker and start a diaper business. Seriously, it finishes faster than a dog eats its snacks.

I put him in his last diaper and dress him. It's the weekend, so it's my day to spend an entire day with my munchkin and family.

---

"Assalam Alaikum." I greet my Abbu as we enter the house. Abbu smiles and replies to his salam. He snatches Ali off my arms to his.

Ihsan rushes towards me out of nowhere and engulfs me in her hug.
"So I am taking Ali out now. Can you take mama out to the grocery?"

"Where are you taking him?"

"To his beloved? I don't know. Just please take her to the grocery and don't forget to buy diapers for my daughter. Bye."

Without letting me say anything, she grabs Ali and vacates her house. Leaving me to astound.

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